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30 Daily Phenomena All Socially Awkward People Must Battle

Oh hey, life. Why are you so scary?

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1. Deciding whether it’s too early to break eye contact, because it’s literally killing you to maintain it.

AP

2. Bracing yourself for the worst 10 seconds of your life when you have to be alone with a stranger in an elevator.

NBC

3. Or at a pedestrian crossing. Please little man, turn green?!

Merlin

4. Deep breathing through hairdresser visits. Seriously, who even has three hours worth of small-talk topics?

5. Calculating whether an incoming phone call can be combatted with a text or, better still, an email.

Picasa

6. Because if you do answer the phone, you will generally screw up the timing of the goodbye/hang-up procedure.

Via The Internet Surfer Blogspot

7. Baby anxiety attacks over whether it’s going to be a handshake, a hug, a fist pound, or (PLEASE LORD NO) cheek kisses.

AP / Alex Brandon

8. Because we all know the risk of cheek kisses becoming ear nibbles.

AFP / Getty Images

9. Seriously wondering if Beyonce’s ability to look so sexy is the result of some kind of CIA science magic.

WireImage for Parkwood Entertainment Kevin Mazur

10. Verbal-vomiting your life story onto a stranger, because awkward silence is death.

Paramount Pictures

11. Or, filling that awkward silence with fake coughs.

Via Gurl.com

Everybody knows they’re fake.

12. Having zero grasp of how to appropriately navigate a “stop and chat” with an acquaintance in the street.

Disney

13. Therefore, conducting a very important search through your handbag to avoid acknowledging that you’ve seen them.

14. Conniptions when you enter a bar and realize it has a dance floor.

15. Pretending you need to stretch because standing still in a conversation is so awkward it hurts.

Columbia Pictures

16. Then pretending that this very moment is when you need to re-apply lip-balm.

Fox

17. Bracing yourself with disaster movie theme music just to walk past other humans whilst balancing a cup of coffee.

18. Brainstorming 267 genius ways to forfeit a first date.

New Line Cinema

19. Panicking that your seat buddy on the train might have interpreted that knee-bump as sexual tension.

Universal Pictures

20. Panicking that anybody might interpret anything as sexual tension.

NBC

21. Panicking, fake-stretching and re-applying lip-balm when there's REAL sexual tension.

DreamWorks

22. The real life struggle when people want a sip from your straw (with their mouth).

NBC / Via Wordsmyth.net

23. Pretending not to mind or even notice when somebody pilfers your favorite pen, just to avoid talking about it.

NBC

24. Pretending not to mind about anything if it means you can avoid talking about it.

MTV

25. Dying inside when you wave hello to somebody and they don’t notice.

Harry Potter

26. Complete vocabulary amnesia when forced to converse with someone you’ve thought about having sex with.

Cheezburger

27. Acute awareness of exactly what your hands, feet, mouth, eyes and tummy fat are doing during this conversation.

Flynet

28. Battling your conviction that they can literally see your thoughts on your face.

29. Battling your conviction that you have snot on your face.

Fame Flynet

30. Dropping things. You know, like sandwiches. Your keys. The ball of life, generally.

Vevo / Taylor Swift

...and you still end up being awesome.

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