1. "Everything happens for a reason."
2. "You're so much better off without them."
3. "How are you doing?" (For the eighth time today.)
4. "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
5. "This is the time in your life where you're SUPPOSED to be single!"
6. "People are going to be banging down your door the second they find out you're single."
7. "OMG, they changed their relationship status AND profile picture on Facebook!?"
8. "You deserve SO much better."
9. “It’s too bad; I really liked them.”
10. “You’re so young! There’s no way you know what you want from a serious relationship yet.”
11. "You being upset is only letting them win."
12. "Remember that one time, you told me they did that thing that made you want to kill them. Yeah, just think of that."
13. "One day you're going to look back and be mad at yourself for spending this much time on them."
14. "Did you really think that you were going to be with them forever?"
15. "Ugh, good, I always hated them!"
16. "Do you think there's someone else in the picture?"
17. "You should seriously sign up for OkCupid!"
18. "I'm so jealous of you. I'd love to be single right now."
19. "This is the time you need to spend working on yourself."
20. "I'm not gonna lie, I kind of saw this coming for a while."
21. "Don't worry, you'll be back together in no time!"
We forgot to mention, we were being sarcastic about the whole "you being a psychic" part.
22. "You just need go out for a drink... or five."
23. "You should really go for a good hard workout.”
24. "Just give it a few weeks and you'll feel so much better."
But, OK, if you're looking for something actual helpful to say, here are a few options:
