When you really like someone, more often than not you’ll do whatever it takes to show that person you care, and make them feel special and important, so that they know how good the relationship can be. But as the relationship becomes more secure — it gets more serious, or you move in together, become married, or have kids — your priorities may change.
“When people get comfortable, they think they don’t need to do anything to maintain the relationship anymore,” Firstein says. “They get lazy and complacent. They don’t think about romance, emotions, and fostering that relationship and connection, and prioritize everything else in their lives. If you did that with a job, you’d get fired.”
She says it’s important to not take your partner for granted. It’s tempting to only prioritize work, kids, friends, etc. when you feel like you have such a secure relationship. But neglecting someone can be the fastest way to lose them, she explains.