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22 Cleanses That Will Help You Start 2017 Off Right

Because this is the year that you don't deal with bullshit.

1. The Fuckboy Cleanse / Via Instagram: @tindernightmares

Save yourself all the time and emotion this year and cut off anyone who's being ridiculously extra. Here are a few great responses that people have had in the past if you're looking for some great one-liners.

2. The Ratty-Underwear Cleanse

Nickelodeon / Via

It always seems like such a pain in the ass to drop money on new underwear. But do yourself a favor and say goodbye to those ragged, stained lingerie with the elastic hanging out that you've been wearing since the eighth grade.

Your new underwear will look better, feel better, and you won't be embarrassed to be caught in them if/when someone sees them. It's worth the dollars, trust. Here are some of the best places to buy them.

3. The Your-Plants-Are-Dead Cleanse / Via Instagram: @emilynn

Maybe they were overwatered. Maybe they didn't get enough sun. Or maybe it was really just their time. Whatever it was, they're dead now and littering all over the floor. It's time to let them go.

If you have a hard time keeping your plants alive, here are some pointers on how to improve your green thumb.

4. The I'm-Too-Old-For-This-Shit-On-Social-Media cleanse

Remember all those albums you uploaded to your social media accounts in college with photos of you and your crew, tanking light beer out of a funnel? Yeah, it may be time to take those down.

5. The Pantry Cleanse

6. The I-Swear-This-Is-The-Last-Time Cleanse

20th Century Fox / Via

How many times have you said "this is the last time" about something you've been meaning to quit? This is the last time I'm going to drink soda. This is the last time I'll stay up until 5 a.m. watching Netflix. This is the last time I'll respond to his/her text.

Old habits die hard. But either decide it's time to completely kick the habit for good or give yourself more reachable goals, like "I'll only drink soda twice a week." That way you're not making promises to yourself that you know you won't keep.

7. The I-Have-A-Million-Photos-Of-My-Dog Cleanse

Twitter: @tessacarr10

You love your dog and think your dog is the cuter than any other dog in the entire world. But having 100 photos of your dog sleeping in different positions in the kitchen may be a little overboard, you know?

Save phone space by uploading them to your computer so can delete them off your phone. Or, if you just can't get on board with not having your photos on your phone, try downloading an app like Google Photos so that you can store your pics to the cloud without taking up too much storage. Don't have a dog but do have thousands of selfie attempts? Yeah, maybe get rid of all those selfie attempts you've deemed ~unpostable~.

8. The Five-Years-Worth-Of-Receipts Cleanse / Via Instagram: @venusianqueen

They're everywhere: in your car cup holders, in the pockets of your pants and jackets, and your purse is infested with them. While it's important to keep certain receipts in case you need to verify purchases or return/exchange something, there comes a certain point where hanging on to them is unnecessary. The receipt from takeout last fall? Maybe toss it. The receipt for your new computer last year? Maybe hang on to that one.

And if you do have to hold on to them, set up a filing system — in your desk drawer or pantry — so that you can keep track of them and have them organized in one place, that doesn't happen to be the pockets of your clothing. You can get some simple and doable filing tips here.

9. The I-Literally-Never-Wear-These-Clothes Cleanse

ABC / Via

It's hard to let go of clothes because even if the last time you wore it it was four birthdays ago, you might get the PERFECT opportunity to wear it sometime soon, right?? But if you haven't touched a piece of clothing in over a year, the chances of you wearing it ever again are very slim.

Go through your closet and your dresser drawers and set aside all the things you haven't worn in the past year to be donated. Here's a list of great places that could use your extra clothing.

Also, here's more awesome advice for anyone who thinks they have too many clothes.

10. The Unfriend/Unfollow Cleanse

Shannon Rosenberg / Via BuzzFeed News

It's time to go through and unfriend/unfollow all the people on your newsfeed who make you feel uncomfortable, upset, or angry. And don't keep some around just because you like to hate-stalk them.

Everyone on your friends list should benefit your life in a positive way, whether it's accounts that update you on news, inspire you to challenge yourself, people who make you laugh, or just friends and family you want to keep in touch with. Make it a point to reduce the amount of negativity in your life during 2017.

11. The IRL Unfriend Cleanse / Via Instagram: @mytherapistsays

Cutting off a friend is a really big deal and of course it's not something to do willy nilly or enter into lightly. But you can only handle so much, and when a friendship is hurting you more than it's making you happy it may be time to say enough is enough. Here’s exactly how to break up with a friend like an adult.

12. The Got-A-Lot-Of-Enemies Cleanse / Via

Try to let go of the grudges you've been holding against people, including yourself, especially if they're small-to-medium grudges you really can just let go of. You'll feel so much better just moving on.

Of course, sometimes you're dealing with things a lot bigger than unreturned phone calls or other relatively minor friendship/relationship infractions. If you're finding it impossible to get past what someone's done (or is doing), it may be healthier to put some distance between you and that person, at least till you can work through your feelings more.

13. The Tupperware Cleanse

Go through your Tupperware and match up all the containers with their lids. If there are some that are damaged, missing tops, or oil-stained and flimsy, toss them or recycle them. All the random takeout containers and old, broken sets with missing parts are just taking up room and cluttering your life. Keep it strictly to the Tupperware you know you're going to make use of.

14. The Refrigerator Cleanse / Via Instagram: @anz.tee

Clear out your fridge of leftovers, expired produce, moldy deli meats, questionable condiments, half-drunk soda bottles, and anything you know you're never going to use. Clearing out your fridge will not only help you make space for new groceries, but it will also help you be more conscious of what you have in your fridge and what you need to use before it goes bad.

Here are 27 hacks to keep your fridge clean and organized, and 18 ways organizing your fridge can save you money and time.

15. The Workspace Cleanse / Via Instagram: @happymindblog

It's easy for your workspace to get buried under a mound of papers, Post-Its, pens, folders, and stacked empty cups. But when you don’t have room to get anything done and can’t find the things that you need, having a cluttered desk is going to make you feel less organized and more stressed.

Toss all unnecessary papers, organize the stuff you need and also make it pleasant to look at! If you enjoy the space you're working in, it'll be a more positive experience and you'll probably be more productive. Here are some awesome ways you can organize your workspace and some products that may make that easier for you.

16. The Yes-I-Know-My-Storage-Is-Almost-Full Cleanse

Here are a few things you can do if your storage is full and you've already tried getting rid of everything you're willing to part with. Oh look, now you can download that software update from last year!

17. The Ex Cleanse / Via Shannon Rosenberg / BuzzFeed News

Breakups are so, so tough. But it's going to be really unhealthy if every time you get a glimpse of that knickknack they gave you, or that photo of your first anniversary, you feel your stomach drop and your heart sink. So either toss or hide everything that you're not ready to part with — that means their number, your text chains and chats on social media, photos, cards, etc. — everything and anything that's preventing you from moving on.

18. The Inbox Cleanse

Alice Mongkonglite /

“Email is one of the biggest productivity suckers in the world,” Barbara Hemphill previously told BuzzFeed News. “The average amount of emails in an inbox is 3,000. People get so overwhelmed by email that they want to avoid it.” So take this 5-day Inbox Cleanse and make your life MUCH easier and less stressful.

19. The Wut-Is-Even-in-This-Bag Cleanse / Via Instagram: @kala1993

Time to get rid of all that crap that built up inside your bags (makeup bag, gym bag, purse, etc.) during 2016 — we're talking melted chapsticks, sticky candy wrappers, broken hair ties, crumpled tissues, expired medication, etc. You'll feel heavenly once you do.

20. The I-Suck-At-Personal-Hygiene Cleanse


It's time to stop putting your personal hygiene last. Throw out those old, broken deodorants that don't even swivel up anymore, replace your toothbrush, buy a new shower loofa, wash your bed sheets/pillowcases and get rid of all the expired lotions you have sitting around your house. Take this quiz to find our how gross your personal hygiene habits really are.

21. The Loose Coin Cleanse / Via Instagram: @big_mo2013, / Via Instagram: @lunagirl04

Seriously, where do these coins even come from? Start making it a point to collect them when you see them and keep them all in one place. Then when you've built up a decent stash, take them to the bank or a Coinstar kiosk to get some dollars. You'll be surprised at how much money you've had just lying around.

22. The I'm-Never-Going-To-Use-My-Gym-Membership Cleanse

WB / Via

If you want to exercise and work out, but hate going to the gym, that's totally OK! Just be honest with yourself that you're probably not going to make use of your gym membership and stop wasting money by quitting or freezing your account.

Here's a kickass Get Fit Challenge that will help you get in shape from the comfort of your own home, no gym membership required.

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