Dating and relationships can be a special type of shit show in your twenties.
Between trying to be a real adult and figuring out what you want to do with your life, how does anyone have time to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
The struggle is too real. So we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they wish they knew about dating and relationships when they were in their twenties. Here’s what they said:
1. "Assume that you can get anyone to fall for you if you want them to."
2. "Making the first move is terrifying but it will be the most awesome terrifying thing ever."
3. "The best pick up line in the world is 'Hi, I'm (insert your name here).'"
4. Follow the "Three Month Rule."
5. "Don't commit to someone who hasn't asked you to."
6. And feel free to actually say no when you want to.
"It's okay to turn someone down. And it's okay if the person you turn down gets upset, that is beyond your control. I went on so many unwanted dates because I felt bad saying no." –MrsH810
7. Don't feel pressured to achieve any specific milestone by any specific time.
8. Believe people's actions, not their words.
9. "Don't drink excessively on first dates."
10. Make sure you date on your own terms.
11. Have no regrets.
12. Know that your "ideal" partner can change over time. So just do you right now.
13. And just completely forget about dating if you're sick of it.
14. First, learn to be okay by yourself.
15. And don't feel like you need to change for anyone.
16. Just because they're perfect, doesn't mean they're perfect for you.
17. "Find someone who you can laugh with and have fun with, any time and anywhere."
18. Don't stay in a dead relationship just because you're comfortable.
19. Don't try to find yourself through a relationship.
20. And don't give SO much of yourself without getting anything in return.
21. Really take into consideration what your friends and family have to say.
22. But don't let them make the decisions for you.
23. "Know when to throw in the towel."
24. And don't feel like you ALWAYS need to be in a relationship.
25. Absolutely don't let anyone mistreat you.
26. Remember that there is such a thing as giving too much.
27. "Know that you're good enough. Anyone would be lucky to have you."
28. Don't stay with someone because you think you can change them.
29. Be with someone who genuinely makes you really super happy.
30. "No scrubs."
