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25 Things Sweaty People Definitely Can't Get Away With

Don't mind me. Just wiping up my butt sweat over here.

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1. You can't hold someone's hand for more than five seconds without your hand slobbering on theirs. / Via Instagram: @bg.louisa

Knees weak, palms are sweaty.

2. You could never live without an AC or fan in your household.

FOX / Via

Point the fan this way or we'll sweat on you and everything you love.

3. And it's impossible to get through a full day without awkwardly checking for pit stains.

Disney / Via

RIP to all the permanently pit-stained shirts that got thrown away.

4. You definitely can't sleep with the covers on, unless you want to wake up drenched.

Comedy Central / Via

Blankets off, it's too cold. Blankets on, we wake up in a pool of our own sweat.

5. You can't get through a presentation without rivers of perspiration streaming down your face.

Do you think they can tell we're nervous?
New Line Cinema / Via

Do you think they can tell we're nervous?

6. And no matter how hard you try, you can't wipe away sweat without people catching you.


Either that or they quickly avoid eye contact so you don't feel embarrassed...which is arguably worse.

7. You can't wear ANY light-colored shirts, and light-colored pants are risky too.

And no, wearing white doesn't work. It just looks like we've entered a wet t-shirt contest.

And no, wearing white doesn't work. It just looks like we've entered a wet t-shirt contest.

8. You can't afford to wear shoes with no socks.


You're not ready for this soggy, smelly mess.

9. You can't sit down for long periods of time without leaving evidence behind. / Via

Here's a pool of buttcheek sweat, just for you on this here seat.

10. And you can't take a gloriously hot shower without sweating profusely afterward.

What. is. even. the. point.
Adult Swim / Via

What. is. even. the. point.

11. You can't make it more than two minutes sitting in a sauna.

People willingly put themselves through this torture??

People willingly put themselves through this torture??

12. And sunbathing is, and always will be, out of the question.

Disney / Via

Just roll us into the nearest body of water.

13. You can't leave the house without coating yourself in antiperspirant.

Warner Bros. / Via

Five layers should be good to start out.

14. And you can't go anywhere without backup, just in case you have to reapply.

MTV / Via

Some people have hair ties, gum, and wallets in their purse...we have deodorant.🙏

15. You can't take off your clothes without it being an actual workout.

Sony Pictures / Via

How many calories are burned in the process of taking off pants?

16. And you can't work out without leaving the area a little moist.

Frantically wiping down all the machines is our exercise. / Via Instagram: @joannaita7

Frantically wiping down all the machines is our exercise.

17. You can't just take the stairs, or the "long way."

Universal Pictures / Via

Getting in those extra steps IS NOT worth it.

18. And you can't get through a whole day without needing to touch up your makeup.

BET / Via

Just waiting for the "mascara running down face look" to be in.

19. Or throw your hair back because it DOES NOT look like it did when you left the house.

Why even put in the WERK?

20. You can't walk anywhere in the summer without turning into a sweat demon.


Well...any season, really.

21. And it only gets worse when you go somewhere crowded or without a ~civilized~ amount of ventilation. / Via

A formal apology to all the innocent bystanders we've sweat on in the past.

22. Hence why you pretty much can't venture into the world unless you have an extra change of clothes on hand.

Disney / Via

Nothing feels better than putting on dry underwear. Nothing.

23. You can't survive a full day without your thighs sticking together.

20th Century Fox / Via

Hand us the Body Glide.

24. You ALWAYS have to shower directly after working out.


Nobody wants to smell that, and we'll just end up an itchy mess when the sweat dries.

25. And last but not least, reusing dirty laundry? Yeah, that's never happening.

Billboard / Via

Because sweat smells even worse when it's fermented for several days.

But, on the bright side, you'll always look like the hardest worker in the room, and no one glistens like you do.

Sweat on, sweaty friends!