back to top

16 Times The "Contest" Episode Of "Seinfeld" Told Us How To Be Master Of Our Domain

It's the 25th anniversary of the iconic Seinfeld episode "The Contest," but can anyone really be master of their domain?

Posted on

1. So you want to be master of your domain?

Lord of the manor? King of the county? Queen of the castle?

2. Get your crew together and make a pact.

"I'm sure we'll all feel comfortable within the confines of the honor system."

3. If your crush walks by and you start to think you might immediately lose...

"He has got a great butt."

4. ...try to keep it cool.

"Well, my mother, Jerry..."

5. Look away in a totally natural, not-weird way.

"George, your cousin Shelly is talking to you!"

6. If you need a moment...take it.

"OK. Ya trying to hurt me? Are you trying...? You're trying to injure me, right? You're trying to hurt me!"

7. Give yourself a time-out.

"I know how difficult this must have been for you."

8. Grab hold of something sturdy.

"What? Wha— who? I made an impression? What impression?"

9. Put something cool to your face.

"And he asks me my name, and I think I said, 'Elaine,' but I mean, who the hell knows?

10. Can't sleep from all that temptation? Try tossing and turning.

"Nothing like some good solid sack time."

11. It's important to keep yourself distracted.

"I like kids shows. They have a very innocent, wholesome quality."

12. Your friends will be there to keep you from doing anything stupid.

"Something's gotta give!"

13. Or if you need someone to mutter incoherently to.

"John F. Kennedy Juni-ahhh!"

14. Or just straight-up yell at for no reason because the temptation makes you do such things.

"Oh, yeah, that's right — you fell asleep one day on the sofa, and I took them off your stinkin' feet. They looked so good to me, I had to have 'em!"

15. And eventually you might cave and lose the bet.

"You know you better be careful, buddy. She's gonna get you next."

16. But your friends will totally understand why.

"I figured you'd cruise at least through the spring."

All images courtesy of Castle Rock Entertainment/Sony Pictures Television

We know you loved this breakdown, but if you really want to see how to be master of your domain, watch Seinfeld’s greatest episode of all time, "The Contest," during the 25th anniversary airing on Friday, Nov. 17. Check your local listings.