1.Rural Germany is just plain ugly. Take the town of Erfurt as an example... All these gray prefabricated houses with their way-too-small apartments.
2.And often those old buildings don't even have proper windows! Looks awfully drafty to me.
3.It's all high-rises. Nothing special.
4.There's so little space in those little towns that they've resorted to just building their houses on top of bridges.
5.But it's not like anyone in towns like Erfurt want to look at those gross little rivers anyways. I hear they're all totally poisonous and toxic. Avoid at all costs.
6.Nights in Erfurt and dark and grim, which I suppose is good, cause it keeps you from seeing how ugly it truly is.
7.Because it's not like there is anything spectacular to see there.
8.The little cities are all dying out because nobody ever visits them. I'm not even sure that trains run to many of them anymore.
9.Everyone in these small towns just sits around bored most evenings. Nothing to do. Nothing to see.
10.And let's not even get into the holiday markets. Totally skippable. It's all just bad techno and watered down mulled wine.
11.There's just nothing special about these small towns in Germany.
12.Erfurt, for example, is gray on more gray. The town matches the weather.
13.The summers are dull...
14.... and the winters are rainy and dreary. Germans living the the middle of the country only know of snow from stories they've heard.
15.People in these small towns have the most boring traditions in the world. Total lack of culture.
16.Nothing exciting ever happens.
17.There are no venues...
18....no theater scene...
19....and no sports scene.
20.It's not like anyone famous or well-known has ever travelled to any of these small towns. Definitely not Erfurt.
21.Oh and definitely don't bring your kids to Erfurt. Or anywhere else outside the major cities, for that matter.
22.They'll be bored to tears.
23.There's absolutely nothing for them there.
24.And don't expect to find any fine dining experiences. You're better off bringing something along from home.
25.Look! They can't even make sausages that fit on buns! What a joke.
26.Don't bother getting up early for the sunrises. It's always the same view.
27.And maybe you'd expect beautiful, romantic sunsets. But not here. Never here.
28.If you go to Germany, you're better off just sticking to the major cities. You'll have a much better time.
