1. Rural Germany is just plain ugly. Take the town of Erfurt as an example... All these gray prefabricated houses with their way-too-small apartments. Flickr: lutz536 /CC BY-NC / Via creativecommons.org The old town of Erfurt. 2. And often those old buildings don't even have proper windows! Looks awfully drafty to me. Flickr: meisterschnitter / CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org The Cathedral Castle. 3. It's all high-rises. Nothing special. Flickr: 52750967@N07 / CC BY-NC-ND / Via creativecommons.org Dominican church. 4. There's so little space in those little towns that they've resorted to just building their houses on top of bridges. Flickr: 56938735@N03 / CC BY-SA / Via creativecommons.org The Krämerbrücke over the Gera. 5. But it's not like anyone in towns like Erfurt want to look at those gross little rivers anyways. I hear they're all totally poisonous and toxic. Avoid at all costs. Flickr: 56938735@N03 / CC BY-SA / Via creativecommons.org Houses on the Gera 6. Nights in Erfurt and dark and grim, which I suppose is good, cause it keeps you from seeing how ugly it truly is. Flickr: 83820282@N05 / CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org Festival of lights in Ega Park. 7. Because it's not like there is anything spectacular to see there. Flickr: xommandcity /CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org Erfurt Cathedral. 8. The little cities are all dying out because nobody ever visits them. I'm not even sure that trains run to many of them anymore. Flickr: 128621707@N08 / CC BY / Via creativecommons.org Old city of Erfurt. 9. Everyone in these small towns just sits around bored most evenings. Nothing to do. Nothing to see. Flickr: michael-panse-mdl / CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org Walpurgis Night on the cathedral square. 10. And let's not even get into the holiday markets. Totally skippable. It's all just bad techno and watered down mulled wine. Flickr: sacred_destinations / CC BY-NC / Via creativecommons.org Christmas market. 11. There's just nothing special about these small towns in Germany. Flickr: svenbreitkopf / CC BY-NC / Via creativecommons.org Erfurt Cathedral. 12. Erfurt, for example, is gray on more gray. The town matches the weather. Flickr: xommandcity / CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org Erfurt north. 13. The summers are dull... Flickr: powderphotography / CC BY-NC-ND / Via creativecommons.org North beach. 14. ... and the winters are rainy and dreary. Germans living the the middle of the country only know of snow from stories they've heard. Flickr: michael-panse-mdl / CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org 15. People in these small towns have the most boring traditions in the world. Total lack of culture. Flickr: michael-panse-mdl / CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org Duck races on the Gera. 16. Nothing exciting ever happens. Flickr: jenser666 / CC BY-NC-ND / Via creativecommons.org Street races in Erfurt. 17. There are no venues... Flickr: marcofieber / CC BY-NC-ND / Via creativecommons.org Centrum-Club. 18. ...no theater scene... Flickr: michael-panse-mdl / CC BY-ND / Via creativecommons.org Cathedral steps festival. 19. ...and no sports scene. Flickr: rieshug / CC BY / Via creativecommons.org Speed skating World Cup in the Gunda Niemann-Stirnemann Hall. 20. It's not like anyone famous or well-known has ever travelled to any of these small towns. Definitely not Erfurt. Flickr: susannek / CC BY-SA / Via creativecommons.org Collegium Maius at the old university in Erfurt, where Martin Luther studied. 21. Oh and definitely don't bring your kids to Erfurt. Or anywhere else outside the major cities, for that matter. Flickr: susannek / CC BY-SA / Via creativecommons.org The children's station Kika broadcasts from Erfurt. 22. They'll be bored to tears. Flickr: oponsold / CC BY / Via creativecommons.org Ega Park. 23. There's absolutely nothing for them there. Flickr: alphaone / CC BY-SA / Via creativecommons.org Every child receives a faba bean puppet when they are born in Erfurt. 24. And don't expect to find any fine dining experiences. You're better off bringing something along from home. Flickr: erwinrommel / CC BY-SA / Via creativecommons.org Thuringian dumplings. 25. Look! They can't even make sausages that fit on buns! What a joke. Flickr: sacred_destinations / CC BY-NC / Via creativecommons.org Thuringian sausage. 26. Don't bother getting up early for the sunrises. It's always the same view. Flickr: meisterschnitter / CC BY-NC / Via creativecommons.org 27. And maybe you'd expect beautiful, romantic sunsets. But not here. Never here. Flickr: 20046680@N02 / CC BY-NC / Via creativecommons.org 28. If you go to Germany, you're better off just sticking to the major cities. You'll have a much better time. Flickr: reflexer / CC BY-NC-ND / Via creativecommons.org View of the old city from Petersberg.