Skip To Content
    This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    22 Things Renaissance Faires Do Better Than The Real World

    All these "modern technologies" and "progressive social norms" are great, but there are a few things the olde worlde had figured out better than us. Thankfully, Ren Faires are there to bring us back.

    1. Food.

    Flickr: kightp / Via Flickr: shiwoo

    Nearly everything is eaten with your hands, from bacon on a stick to cheesecake on a stick to turkey legs on a stick (actually bones).

    Bradley Gordon / Via bradmanda.com

    Food is just better on sticks.

    2. Booze.

    Flickr: 72213316@N00 / Via Flickr: 72213316@N00

    Not only does wine made from honey exist, it's called mead and you can get it at Renaissance Faires. It is criminal that it's not more widely available.

    Frank Kovalchek / Creative Commons

    3. Bartenders.

    youtube.com

    When the bartender at your local watering hole hears you're having your first drink, does he make an elaborate oral sex joke out of it and get everyone to yell "Huzzah!" for you when you're done?

    youtube.com

    Or does he pour you half a shot of watered-down well vodka?

    4. Hats.

    Frank Kovalchek / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 72213316@N00

    While we've been pretending fedoras work on anyone other than the employees of Sterling Cooper Draper Price, Renaissance Faires have been rocking tri-corner pirate hats for years.

    5. Coffee.

    thegloss.com

    Where would you rather go: A Starbucks where snarky baristas will roll their eyes at you, or ye olde Cappuccino Inn?

    6. Smoothies.

    thegloss.com

    Smoothie King, same question.

    7. Politics.

    Joppo Kelin / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: simalem

    When the Ren Faire's Queen of England and King of Spain have a disagreement, they don't send diplomatic envoys or hold boring debates. They get a bunch of serfs to dress up and chess-battle each other, hilariously.

    8. Sports.

    reddit.com

    Watching two jousters ride full tilt at each other on horseback with spears beats the hell out of any Super Bowl in recent memory.

    reddit.com

    Seriously, can we make this a sport again? If "horse dancing" counts, then this is a shoe-in.

    9. Family crests.

    reddit.com

    This brony crest kicks way more ass than whatever fleur-de-lis shield your family had five generations ago.

    10. Personal heralds.

    The Q / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: theqspeaks

    Why did we stop having people announce when we arrived anywhere? Whose idea was that?

    11. Children's activities.

    reddit.com

    Archery > hopscotch.

    12. Childcare.

    13. Punishment.

    Quinn Dombrowski / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: quinnanya

    14. Music.

    Rowan / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: rowan72

    Go to one Pub Sing and you'll get it.

    15. Work.

    David R Tribble / Creative Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

    There are ACTUAL BLACKSMITHS.

    16. Living rooms.

    Joan / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: pipdiddly

    This is straight-up lounging. The best you can do on a pull out couch is chilling.

    17. Etsy.

    Alexey Sergeev / Via asergeev.com

    Tons of local craft-makers and artists set up permanent huts to sell their unique, one-of-a-kind wares in.

    Alexey Sergeev / Via asergeev.com

    It's like an Etsy you can walk through.

    18. Church.

    Alexey Sergeev / Via asergeev.com

    Whatever you worship, it's better to do it here.

    19. Architecture.

    20. Jewelry.

    21. Boners.

    reddit.com

    (It's a codpiece.)

    22. Boobs.

    Patty / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: psexypsychic

    Hope you're a fan, because there are corsets EVERYWHERE.

    Create your own post!

    This post was created by a member of the BuzzFeed Community.You can join and make your own posts and quizzes.

    Sign up to create your first post!

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form