2. You’re finding this news quite alarming.
3. You must go through them all right now.
TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK.
5. Because this screen is the best screen in the world.
6. But what if you left your emails for a little bit?
A couple of days for example. In fact, let’s make it a week.
7. Well your emails will start to build.
14. What if you got an email from that crush who already knows you like them and is currently avoiding you?
Clarification: this won’t happen.
15. Let’s forget the fact that your emails are junk from companies you can’t be bothered to unsubscribe from.
16. But what about clicking “mark as read”? You could….
You cannot and will not take this risk.
17. You even enjoy checking all the spam emails.
Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.