You know Channel 4's Deal Or No Deal right?
Each episode still starts with Noel saying that "you should have watched yesterday's show because it was the greatest Deal Or No Deal game ever".
But never fear... it's time for *contestant name here*.
Then the *contestant name here* does this bowing thing when they go to meet Noel at the table.
The contestant then shows Noel a photo of somebody you don't know. They explain that they are taking part in this show "for them".
The photo on the right is a total lie. That grandmother really doesn't like chicken.
You get bored during the photo bit and you think...
But then you realise that the game is about to begin. Noel still says that legal disclaimer stuff so we know that this show isn't ONE GIANT FIX.
You never see the 'independent adjudicator'! You think "isn't that the person who is on the lottery?"
FINALLY. THE FIRST BOX TO OPEN. WHO IS IT?
Everyone says over the top stuff about the contestant before they open their box, even though you have only known today's contestant for two minutes.
Or they say something like.
BOX OPENS. And something about "lucky chicken" must be right because LOOOKK....
Then THIS happens directly afterwards.
Noel Edmonds reacts by saying something like...
Then after about ten minutes of people telling each other that they love each other, the phone rings. It's the banker! Noel answers the phone cautiously.
You can never hear what the banker says.
All you hear is.
This is getting really annoying now.
Then after something like 15 minutes he says...
The banker finally gives an offer. It is quite high.
But then they have that chat with the banker and they're like "NO THANKS we're going all the way."
THEN IT'S JUST COMPLIMENTS AND BOXES.
Then oh god it's this all over again.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.
But eventually, 99% of the time... this happens.
HERE WE... oh.
The magic £250,000 disappears from the screen...
Oh god is Pointless on BBC1 on yet?
Deal.Or No Deal.
NO DEAL IS BETTER (because it would have extended the fun by)...