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This Is The Real Reason You Watch BBC Two's "Coast"

Trust me, you're not watching it to be educated about Cornish 19th Century industrial practices.

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This is why you watch Coast.

youtube.com / BBC Two / Via Alt J

Note: The programme announcer didn't actually say that.

This is why BBC Two decides to broadcast Coast.

youtube.com / BBC Two

You feel BBC Two's panic as they shove Coast into the DVD player.

This is also why BBC Two puts Coast on TV.

youtube.com / BBC Two

But this is all jokes. You love Coast really.

YOU WATCH IT BECAUSE OF THIS (just click play).

Via youtube.com / Coast / BBC Wales / BBC Cymru Wales

"AAAAAAHHHH AH AH AH AH AH AAAAAAHHHHHHH AAAAHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH (starts screaming) AAAAARRRGHGGGGHGHGHGHHH!"

You then spend some time wondering whether these cliffs are actually real or not during the opening titles.

STUNNING EXCLUSIVE ANSWER: They aren't real.

bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham

Hungover, you love watching it because of this.

BBC Wales / Coast / Open University / Via youtube.com

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERE ARE WE GOING?"

"The Isle of Man. Oh. Golly."

And the other real reason why you're watching Coast right now? You're hoping this episode is near you.

bbc.co.uk

If you haven't been there, you don't really care.

"ONE DAY it will be Aberystwyth's time in the sun", you hope. "ONE DAY they will be on a beach I recognise because I have been there twice."

Don't even mention the episodes where they go to another country coastline. You're like....

youtube.com / BBC / Coast

JUST SHOW US BLACKPOOL ON A NICE SUMMER'S DAY GUYS.

Then one week they get SO CLOSE to Aberystwyth but they then they move past it.

You end up getting really quite upset about this.

You open and drink a bottle of wine you found by the radiator.

It could be worse. You could live inland. The people on the Coast get this lovely programme about them and everybody else gets absolutely nothing.

AlexanderZam / iStock / ThinkStock Images + Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

You've thought that they should make a Coast for all the places inland, but then you realise...

AlexanderZam / iStock / ThinkStock Images + Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Shhhhhhhhhhh.... Neil Oliver is now talking.

youtube.com / BBC Two / Open University

The second best presenter on there? This man.

And trust me, this show has approximately 4458645 presenters sometimes.
bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

And trust me, this show has approximately 4458645 presenters sometimes.

But you can't wait to see this guy.

bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

You're impressed when you see these special effects.

bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

But you know what impresses you more?

Sexy views.

bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

A LIGHTHOUSE TO CLEAR YOUR LIGHT HEAD.

bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

"My head is starting to clear up. I'm starting to feel a hell of a lot better."

ZOOM IN. SLIGHT ZOOM OUT.

youtube.com / Coast / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

PANNING. PANNING WILL MAKE IT ALL OK.

bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

"My headache is starting to ease already."

But then all of a sudden this happens.

"WTF. What has happened? Where has the sound of waves gone?""Really? That was just a ten minute episode?"
bbc.co.uk / Coast / BBC Birmingham Productions / BBC Cymru Wales

"WTF. What has happened? Where has the sound of waves gone?"

"Really? That was just a ten minute episode?"

That BBC ident comes on again in a hurry.

youtube.com / BBC Two

Oh. Oh god.

And these seas have been replaced by loud jumpers.