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The Guardian’s “Blind Date” Is The Best Newspaper Column Ever

Good table manners? "Impeccable."

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What is the best feature in any weekend newspaper?

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THAT'S RIGHT. It is...

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

In this column The Guardian gets two of its readers to go on a date with each other, then asks them questions about how the date went.

And why is it so compelling?

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3. Although you read too much into sentences and start thinking that people are harsh when they aren't.

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Then you spill your latte everywhere, and scream: "What does that even mean?"

4. You enjoy the Guardian-esque topics the daters talk about on their date.

Despite failing to mention fair trade quinoa, this is still the most Guardian answer in Blind Date history.

Nick Dunmore@dunmoreish

Despite failing to mention fair trade quinoa, this is still the most Guardian answer in Blind Date history.

11:31 AM - 25 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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6. Then there are the times they are genuinely bitchy, even though they know the other person WILL be reading the column too.

Such silky #shade, in just 12 little words (in today's Guardian Blind Date column):

Bim Adewunmi@bimadew

Such silky #shade, in just 12 little words (in today's Guardian Blind Date column):

11:37 PM - 15 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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13. And then there are the scores. They rank each other out of 10 so you check how closely they actually match.

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You look at the score the first person has given and then you try to guess the score the other person has given them. There's usually a point in it.

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16. You develop a superiority complex over the people in these columns because you would never go public about your own dating experiences in a national newspaper.

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18. Then there's the flutter in your heart when you realise both daters are really into each other.

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Followed by frustration because you'll never find out if they are in a relationship, when they are getting married, HOW MANY BABIES THEY WILL HAVE.