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“Crème De La Crème” Is Not In The Spirit Of "Bake Off"

There are many things in this show to offend anyone who watches regular Bake Off. Hold my hand and let's try to get through this together.

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There's now a professionals version of Bake Off, where we see teams of pastry chefs compete.

Mark Bourdillon / BBC / Love Productions / Love Productions
Mark Bourdillon / BBC / Love Productions / Love Productions

Presented by Tom Kerridge, there's a similar format to Bake Off here, but it feels so so so very, very different to the original. Why? Let me explain.

1. In Bake Off there are recipes that make you think, "Oh my, that looks easy. I will go and bake one."

Love Productions / BBC

In Crème de la Crème the pastry chefs have such ambitious bakes that most of the time you have no bloody clue what anything is and you sit there shouting "FUCK THAT" whilst eating some crisps.

BBC / Love Productions

2. In Bake Off the contestants come across as being really rather sweet and cheerful as the weeks go by.

Love Productions / BBC
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In Crème de la Crème...well, not so much.

Love Productions / BBC

3. In Bake Off the judges who make decisions are like nice relatives, which makes you feel warm and cosy.

Love Productions / BBC

In Crème de la Crème they sit on on THRONES *insert some joke about Jon Snow in Game of Thrones here*

Where is the cosy feeling? WHERE IS IT?
BBC / Love Productions

Where is the cosy feeling? WHERE IS IT?

4. In Bake Off the contestants get stressed but never seem to complain about being stressed on camera.

BBC / Love Productions
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In Crème de la Crème they hate the camera when they're stressed and on occasion ask them to leave.

Don't film me? That's the point of this show.
BBC / Love Productions

Don't film me? That's the point of this show.

5. In Bake Off the judges don't care about the mess the bakers have created.

Love Productions / BBC

In Crème de la Crème they have a go at any of the pastry chefs who have any mess on their aprons.

Who really cares about THIS?!
BBC / Love Productions

Who really cares about THIS?!

6. In Bake Off the criticisms by judges are usually positive and constructive even if the bake is a mess.

Love Productions / BBC
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On Crème de la Crème some creations look absolutely staggering, and then they are torn apart.

There were no survivors.
Love Productions / BBC

There were no survivors.

7. In Bake Off if the contestants don't do that well during a challenge, they react to it in a positive way.

Love Productions / BBC

On Crème de la Crème a bad review makes the contestants look as if you farted during their wedding vows.

BBC / Love Productions

8. In Bake Off the contestants congratulated each other when someone's bake was simply outstanding.

Love Productions / BBC
BBC / Love Productions
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In Crème de la Crème, they slag each other's bakes.

BBC / Love Productions

This isn't the spirit of Bake Off.

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.
BBC / Love Productions

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Isn't that right, Mary?

Love Productions / BBC