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I, A British Person, Watched The London Scenes Of "Sharknado 5" And There Are A Few Problems

This film, about tornadoes full of sharks, is partially set in London and is a tad inaccurate.

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So you might have heard that Sharknado 5, a film about tornadoes full of sharks, is set partially in London.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

America – you made so many mistakes, and I have issues at how you depicted our fair city and country.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

And yes, I know that this film is about sharks in tornadoes, but I think it is important to check this out properly.

Firstly, the film starts with Fin (Ian Ziering) being told that he needs to go into a cave next to Stonehenge as it is full of ancient shark artefacts. But America, there are no caves anywhere near Stonehenge.

There is however a busy road called the A303 near Stonehenge and we've been having an argument for about 30 years about whether we should put that road in a tunnel.
Syfy / Sharknado 5

There is however a busy road called the A303 near Stonehenge and we've been having an argument for about 30 years about whether we should put that road in a tunnel.

BTW: Stonehenge explodes and turns into a sharknado.

No need to worry about sorting out the A303 tunnel now.
Syfy / Sharknado 5

No need to worry about sorting out the A303 tunnel now.

It is at this point that our hero says this:

Syfy / Sharknado 5

We're then shown chaos on the streets of London. America, London does not look like this AT ALL.

Where do I start? The traffic lights are all wrong.
Syfy / Sharknado 5

Where do I start? The traffic lights are all wrong.

America, our traffic lights are very distinctive.

Getty Images and Syfy / Sharknado 5

I've also never seen a police station like this,.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

It then gets weirder as we keep seeing a shot of a sharknado approaching London Bridge, but when April (Tara Reid) abandons her car, it turns out that she was actually on Tower Bridge the whole time.

Then why did we keep seeing London Bridge beforehand?
Syfy / Sharknado 5

Then why did we keep seeing London Bridge beforehand?

This is important to us. Do not mess around with our bridges. They are quite different.

Please remember next time.
Google Maps

Please remember next time.

Then it gets a whole lot worse because as a sharknado hits Tower Bridge this little kid says this.

IT'S TOWER BRIDGE.
Syfy / Sharknado 5

IT'S TOWER BRIDGE.

Oh, and during this scene Louie Spence (a British dancer and C-list celebrity) is in this car pretending to be an MI6 officer or something.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

They then board a bus heading to Oxbridge Downtown Airport, but such an airport does not exist in London.

Even the Oxbridge elites have their own airport now. :/
Syfy / Sharknado 5

Even the Oxbridge elites have their own airport now. :/

Oh, and the London Eye falls off its stand, but America, I don't think it can start rolling through London like this.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

Especially for so long in multiple directions.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

Which way is it going? Our streets have many corners.

Oh, and this happens to Big Ben.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

Oh, and the British PM kisses Katie Price and then a shark falls on her. :/

Oh, meanwhile, a pub TV is showing the Today show and warns them to take cover, but we don't have the actual Today show in the United Kingdom.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

We do however have a show called Good Morning Britain, which you do feature, but I should remind you guys that the British Empire doesn't actually exist in 2017.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

Fin then crashes through the windows at Buckingham Palace while riding a shark that accidentally eats a crown belonging to The Queen.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

This scene continues for quite some time.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

He then retrieves this from the shark's mouth.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

But, America, this person is not our Queen.

We are 10 minutes into the film.
Syfy / Sharknado 5

We are 10 minutes into the film.

At that point, the film leaves London and heads elsewhere, eventually leading to a scene featuring Tony Hawk turning the Sydney Opera House into a missile defence system for some reason.

Syfy / Sharknado 5

Oh, and Fabio Lanzoni is the pope. We don't know why.

Syfy / Sharknado

These later plot twists are fine so long as in Sharknado 6 you show viewers the correct type of traffic lights.

UPDATE: I have been informed of another failure.

You can watch Sharknado 5 on Syfy's website in the United States and on Syfy channel in the UK.