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Cookie Monster Has A British Cousin Called Biscuit Monster And His Obsession With Biscuits Is Ridiculous

He says: "Me say scrumptious biscuits! Superb!"

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So yesterday I was on the internet (who wasn't) and I stumbled across this rather amazing tweet.

Me: I'm gonna have a productive day today Also me: OMFG Cookie Monster has a British cousin called Biscuit Monster!

So I did of a bit of research about Biscuit Monster.

HERE ARE MY CONCLUSIONS...

Biscuit Monster is not on Sesame Street. Instead, he makes a cameo in The Furchester Hotel, which is made by Sesame Street for CBeebies in the UK. It is a show about puppets who manage their own hotel.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

Cookie Monster is a staff member of this hotel. Biscuit Monster appears in an episode that took me about 25 minutes to find on iPlayer because there's more than 50 episodes of this show and he's only in one.

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In the episode, Biscuit Monster arrives as a guest at the hotel. He is mistaken by staff to be his cousin Cookie Monster, so is asked by another staff member if he can take a towel up to room eight.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

Yes, I left the subtitles on during the show because the dialogue is glorious.

Biscuit Monster doesn't know about the one-biscuit-per-person rule in this hotel, so he decides to eat all of the biscuits on the table.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

This is also thoroughly problematic. I have always assumed biscuits and cookies are different, but Biscuit Monster considers cookies to be biscuits.

I also learned while writing this article that it is hard to properly screengrab Biscuit Monster while he's eating cookies/biscuits, so here it is as a GIF.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

Also I think it should be "nom nom nom nom" not "nam nam nam." Please consider for future cameo Biscuit Monster episodes, BBC subtitles.

He then decides to take all the cookies/biscuits, thinking they are all free. We see this rather terrifying camera angle of Biscuit Monster as he does so.

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All of the staff then return to find that all the cookies are missing and accuse Cookie Monster, not Biscuit Monster, of stealing all of the biscuits/cookies.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

This is already a lot better than a lot of crime dramas currently on TV.

However, one of the other staff members can communicate in the language of various bell noises, so discusses with him/her about who could have stolen the biscuits / cookies.

The puppets then decide to investigate anyway, so check if any of the guests match the description of being blue, being furry and having googly eyes.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

This didn't work because Biscuit Monster didn't properly sign in. The lack of security at the Furchester Hotel is a bit concerning, not going to lie.

We then find out more about Biscuit Monster. He has a rather stereotypical British accent that I discussed with a slightly bored colleague for about 10 minutes.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

"I never expected a British monster to have this sort of accent," I said.

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Biscuit Monster then takes more goddamn biscuits, assuming that they are always for free. This I think now justifies it becoming a matter for the police.

We're then with a rather devastated Cookie Monster, who is out of biscuits/cookies for a second consecutive time in literally six minutes.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

Despite this show being squarely aimed at children under the age of 6, it was a little bit gutting to watch Cookie Monster so sad to be honest.

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And they eat biscuits/cookies together, to the admiration of their fellow puppet colleagues and guests.

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

The lesson of this episode = follow the rules of how many biscuits you can eat in one sitting.

Anyway, now you know about who Biscuit Monster is and that this is actually a thing. Bye!

Sesame Workshop / CBeebies / Via bbc.co.uk

NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM NAM.

You can watch the episode featuring Biscuit Monster in action here.

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