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People In Britain Are Getting Absolutely Obsessed With These Exceptionally Long And Niche Television Shows

A TWO AND A HALF COUNTDOWN OF THE BEST DOG BREEDS.

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Britain is currently getting rather infatuated with some exceptionally niche television shows, such as this:

ITV / Ricochet

That's right: a show ranking the 100 best dog breeds.

And this wasn't a show on a niche channel. This was a show on one of Britain's biggest television networks, ITV. And it lasted for TWO. AND. A. HALF. HOURS.

That's as long as a final for a singing competition format.
The Times

That's as long as a final for a singing competition format.

And the presenters were extremely excited to find out where their own dogs would end up in the rankings.

Even though they were the presenters and they had scripts, so they should know.
ITV / Ricochet

Even though they were the presenters and they had scripts, so they should know.

Literally the whole show was like this...

ITV / Ricochet

At 73, the SCHNOODLE.

...with analysis as if the countdown was sports coverage.

Prince Harry also made a cameo at one point.
ITV / Ricochet

Prince Harry also made a cameo at one point.

And the weirder thing is, the more you watched this show, the more you got totally sucked in by it.

Twitter / Via Twitter: @minasithiI

Me when my dog isn’t announced as number 1 on #BritainsFavouriteDogs

And bizarrely the programme didn't do too badly either – more than 3 million people watched it.

What idiot called it "Britain's Favourite Dogs" and not "The Great British Bark Off" #BritainsFavouriteDogs

Now, you might think this was a one-off format just to fill some time. But you would be ABSOLUTELY WRONG.

That's right, tonight there is another TWO-AND-A-HALF-HOUR show during primetime, this time about walks. That's longer than if you actually went out and did a bloody walk.
The Times

That's right, tonight there is another TWO-AND-A-HALF-HOUR show during primetime, this time about walks. That's longer than if you actually went out and did a bloody walk.

This caused a little bit of confusion.

But in absolutely sensational coincidental news, on a rival channel there is a television show where celebrities go on long walks with their dogs.

Channel 4 / True North

This one, lasting a whole hour on Channel 4, features a famous person walking a dog in a very nice park and saying very nice things.

Channel 4 / True North

But if you think that's niche and very typically British, you haven't seen anything yet. Last month this happened on another rival British broadcaster, Channel 5:

Channel 5 / Daisybeck

This show lasted for 90 minutes.

Channel 5 / Daisybeck

A show literally consisting of people you might have heard of eating biscuits and reviewing them.

Channel 5 / Daisybeck

Some of the biscuits also underwent a dunk test.

May I remind you that this was primetime television.
Channel 5 / Daisybeck / Via my5.tv

May I remind you that this was primetime television.

And you're probably wondering who the winners were. I am probably going to piss off the channels now by revealing them to you. Firstly, Britain's Favourite Dog...

ITV / Ricochet

When they announced this dog breed they played Coldplay.

The presenters then said "congratulations" to the dogs that won, even though they are dogs and dogs do not understand the word "congratulations".

ITV / Ricochet

They then said this.

ITV / Ricochet

And here's the winner of Britain's Favourite Biscuit...

Channel 5 / Daisybeck

In conclusion: These shows make you proud to be British.

Channel 5 / Daisybeck