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The 21 Most Cringeworthy Moments From The First Episode Of "The Apprentice"

"There is no 'i' in team, but there is five in individual brilliance."

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1. Let's start with Mark Wright.

Sure, OK.
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Sure, OK.

2. The new crop of contestants are so humble.

Thanks, Pamela Uddin.
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Thanks, Pamela Uddin.

3. SO humble.

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4. And they've all got a clear strategy.

Yes, Felipe is talking about Felipe in the third person.
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Yes, Felipe is talking about Felipe in the third person.

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5. But they aren't arrogant though. Not one bit.

Of course it is, Steven Ugoalah.
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Of course it is, Steven Ugoalah.

6. They throw random facts to Alan Sugar in the vain hope of being remembered.

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7. But they do teach us very valuable lessons.

Daniel Lassman's right, you know.
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Daniel Lassman's right, you know.

8. It's just possible they overstate the importance of the products they sell.

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9. They can think up great team names too. The girls called their team Decadence.

"Hello, Team Corruption here."
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"Hello, Team Corruption here."

10. There are so many lessons about business you can learn from this show. If you have to sell lemons you can always do this.

Why? More p-r-o-f-i-t.
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Why? More p-r-o-f-i-t.

11. Another winning business strategy: Spend way too much time procrastinating in a supermarket while buying hotdog ingredients and shouting stuff like this.

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12. But then sell hotdogs that look like this.

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13. Karren Brady is a massive fan of these hotdogs.

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14. Another valuable idea? Sell tat for well over its value, like this pot of cleaning products.

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15. And then try to sell it at London Zoo.

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16. And when you get asked something like this...

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17. ...respond with "I think so" and then say this.

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Please remember this lesson. It is so very important.

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18. It is also totally acceptable to have a massive argument...

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19. While serving a customer a lovely coffee.

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20. It is also acceptable to purchase some T-shirts too late in the day to sell them....

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21. ...then try to sell them back to the very person you just bought the product from, at a profit.

bbc.co.uk / Boundless / Mark Burnett Productions
bbc.co.uk / Boundless / Mark Burnett Productions
bbc.co.uk / Boundless / Mark Burnett Productions
bbc.co.uk / Boundless / Mark Burnett Productions

ARGH.