1. Instead of Argentina vs. Iran on Saturday...
You could watch Meet the Sloths on Animal Planet.
Sloths aren't fans of football. Did you not know?
2. Instead of Germany vs. Ghana this Saturday night...
When is it? Saturday 21st June, with coverage starting at 7.30 p.m. on ITV1.
You could watch... Trains with Pete Waterman.
What is on this show? HAVE A GUESS.
3. Instead of Nigeria vs. Bosnia on Saturday...
Watch Political Highlights on BBC Parliament.
Who needs footy when you have moments like this?
4. Instead of Belgium vs Russia on Sunday (4.30 p.m.)...
What is Putin saying in that clip there? Well I've done a nifty bit of translating there.
Putin is trying to say "football football. Blah blah blah. Get it in that goal go team win."
You COULD watch Ejector Seat with Andi Peters.
No seriously, this is an actual television show.
5. Instead of South Korea vs. Algeria on Sunday (7.15 p.m.)...
You could watch End It Like Beckham, a documentary about Beckham, using "extensive archive footage".
When is it on? It is on E! at 5.30 p.m. on Sunday.
Why should you watch it? Because watching whilst football is on will make you feel meta and because E! doesn't have the sports rights they prpbably won't end up showing you any of the football anyway.