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    Every Food On The Malone Family Cushion In “Googlebox”, Analysed

    After I spotted this whilst watching Gogglebox, I decided to document every food we see. I really hope this wasn't a waste of time.

    1. Five or six doughnuts (possibly jam - unconfirmed).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    2. Five muffins presented on a red plate (likely plain).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Uneaten. Who wants plain muffins?

    3. Selection of sweets in medium sized perspex bowl.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    It is just wonderful that they decant everything.

    4. Mystery box.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    We would like to assume biscuits, but this is difficult territory.

    5. A BROWN Mystery Box.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Interestingly, from the same episode. Possibly chocolate biscuits.

    6. Selection box of Viennese biscuits (box is in mint condition so it suggests that it is not opened yet).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    7. Bakewell tarts or Party Rings? This requires public consultation to get to the bottom of this right now.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com
    1. What do you think these are?

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    What do you think these are?
    1.  
      vote votes
      Bakewell tarts
    2.  
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      Party Rings
    3.  
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      Neither

    8. Large slabs of chocolate cake presented on flat plate (likely to be homemade due to cake's height).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    9. The rubbish quality street that nobody likes.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Probably green triangle flavoured. God those are the worst.

    10. Half a plate of battenburg cakes and a biscuit or American style cookies (requires investigation).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    If you know, please send me an email to scott.bryan@buzzfeed.com with the subject "cookie" or "biscuit" or "Why are you doing this article, Scott?"

    11. One mini roll OR chocolate wafer biscuits (including chocolate bar that contains a mini egg topping).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    I'm not Sherlock for fuck sake.

    12. Several unopened biscuits decanted into a bowl.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    13. Six different varieties of chocolate bars decanted into a bowl (approximately twenty bars in total).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Please don't scroll down this article at a warp speed to its conclusion. I believe in you. Keep going. Please read all content.

    14. A selection of what looks like light cakes (speculation that these are French fancies but not).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    If you are sure, please contact the French to confirm.

    15. Tunnock teacakes presented in a bowl along with possibly snowballs (or wrapped in tissue?)

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Yes, I am a journalist and this is my job.

    16. Four caramel wafers (and some blue ones that look like they've got the word PENIS on them).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    17. Three large donuts on a luxurious paper square.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Whispers softly into your ear: "luxxxxxxxxxxuuuuurrrrryyyyy."

    18. One packet of tissues - unconfirmed what brand.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    I hope you are satisfied.

    19. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE?

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Also why would you buy two listing magazines for the same week?

    20. Possibly mince pies but actually might be lemon curd pies as this scene was not at Christmas.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com
    1. Lemon curd or mince pies?

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    Lemon curd or mince pies?
    1.  
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      Lemon curd.
    2.  
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      Mince pie.
    3.  
      vote votes
      Please stop.

    21. I don't know.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    I don't care now.

    22. A remote control (probably Freeview).

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Guys.

    23. Why the hell did I decide to do this?

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    I guess Percy Pigs. The fizzy kind. Not the best ones.

    24. All your hopes and dreams.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    25. And halfway through series four... Oh my god.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    This cannot be real.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    Oh my god.

    Studio Lambert / Via channel4.com

    When you woke up this morning I bet you didn't think you would end up looking at a heavily zoomed in picture of a sofa cushion.

    Update: When I published this I got this tweet.

    Shortly followed by this.

    CORRECTION

    We have been alerted to the fact that the Quality Street is not for consumption. It actually contains a sewing kit. Thanks to everyone who pointed this out.

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