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Can You Tell Which One Is The Real Channel 5 Documentary?

Channel 5 is known for incredibly dramatic documentary names. But can you tell which of these are real, and which ones are fake?

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  1. 1. Which Channel 5 documentary is real?

    It really isn't as easy as you think.

    The Man Whose Face Forgot
    The Man With Umbrellas For Hands
    The Girl With Seven Mums
    The Unforgettable Walrus Sex Crisis
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It is The Girl With Seven Mums!

    It is about a father who believed he was a King after being told by God to have seven wives. AS YOU DO.

  2. 2. Okay. Which one of these are real?

    Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Whitney Houston
    Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Adolf Hitler
    Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Jebediah Springfield
    Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Tony Blair
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's Autopsy: Last Hours Of Whitney Houston.

    Yeah. That's right. This documentary is a bit grim isn't it? There's also 'Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Michael Jackson' to enjoy watching during a cold night this January.

  3. 3. Right. Here's another one.

    World's Most Intense Cake Decorations
    World's Most Complicated Karate Injuries
    World's Most Horrifyingly Intense Roller Coaster Accidents
    World's Scariest Animal Attacks 2
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's World's Scariest Animal Attacks 2!

    The thing I love about this documentary is how it is a sequel. So does this mean that these animal attacks are less scary than World's Scariest Animal Attacks 1?

  4. 4. How about this one?

    Toy Story: The True Story
    Close Encounters Of The Third Kind: The True Story
    Dumbo: The True Story
    World War Z: The True Story
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's Close Encounters: The True Story!

    Bit weird, this doc, since the word's 'True Story' and 'UFOs' aren't normally seen side by side. But there we go.

  5. 5. See, it really isn't that easy is it?

    I Lost Weight But Lost My Husband
    I Ate All The Chocolate And Now I've Lost My Kids
    The Man Who Stabbed Al Gore With A Grapefruit
    Britain's Sexiest Hitler Impersonator
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's I Lost Weight But Lost My Husband!

    It investigates whether losing weight leads to happiness. So don't lose weight. DON'T. JUST EAT MORE PIES. GO ON.

  6. 6. Here's another.

    Mystery Of The Vampire Sex Hunter
    World's Most Difficult Orgasm
    Britain's Most Shocking Bras
    Nigel Marven's Giant Snake Invasion
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's Nigel Marven's Giant Snake Invasion!

    A documentary about snakes. No, not that kind. Stop.

  7. 7. And another.

    Nazi Quest For The Holy Grail
    Nazi Secret Golden Penis
    Hitler's Favourite Extreme Fishing Challenges
    Nazis Nazis Nazis Nazis Nazis Nazis
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's Nazi Quest For The Holy Grail!

    I wish it was Nazi Secret Golden Penis. I really wish it was.

  8. 8. Which one of these are real?

    Nazi Titanic
    Nazi Bermuda Triangle
    Nazis All Go On Holiday
    Nazis Home And Away
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's NAZI TITANIC!

    Nope. The Nazis didn't have a Titanic of their own. It's a doc about a forgotten propaganda film made by the Nazis. But the words Nazi Titanic is a lot more catchy isn't it?

  9. 9. And this one.

    An Audience With Michael Parkinson
    An Audience With Cliff Richard
    An Audience With Jim Davidson
    An Audience With Hitler
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    An Audience With Cliff Richard

    Channel 5 have a tendency to show A LOT of these old 'Audience With' programmes. This Cliff Richard one features special guest Elaine Page. What a joy.

  10. 10. And finally, this one.

    Where Did All These Hitler Impersonators Come From?
    There's A Rhino In My House!
    Help All My Illegal Children Have Exploded
    Britain's Most Exciting Petrol Stations
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    There's A Rhino In My House!

    OBVIOUSLY. IT HAS TO BE THAT ONE.

Can You Tell Which One Is The Real Channel 5 Documentary?

Oh shit.

AWFUL! That was awful. Absolutely embarrassing. I mean, even Keith Chegwin's "Naked Jungle" wasn't that bad!

Oh shit.
Getty Images / Claire Greenway
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Oh dear!

That's terrible. Really quite bad. The Wright Stuff is currently having a debate about how bad your score was and the presenters and callers all think that you did really really bad.

Oh dear!
Twitter: @DudleyGreenPrty
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Oh my!

Errrrrmmm... That's not very good is it? But at least your judgement is better than Channel 5's Doctor Karl Kennedy decision to keep his band together.

Oh my!
BBC / Radio 1 / Via youtube.com
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Uh oh.

It's not all too bad. You could be doing a bit better. So for a special treat I bought you tickets for 'An Audience With Cliff Richard'. Enjoy!

Uh oh.
Getty Images / Simone Joyner
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OH YEAH.

YOU DID OK! So to celebrate you've been awarded a Nazi tank. Play safe.

OH YEAH.
Getty Images / Keystone / Stringer / Hulton Archive
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YAAAAAAAAAY.

Your judgement is ok, so celebrate you have been forced to watch every episode of Home and Away back-to-back forever.

YAAAAAAAAAY.
Home and Away / Channel 5 / Via youtube.com
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YES YES YES YES.

WOW! 7 out of 10. That's hot. You're just as steamy as Karl and Susan's will they / won't they relationship.

YES YES YES YES.
Neighbours / Channel 5 / Via youtube.com
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WELL DONE YOU.

WOW! 8 out of 10. You're nearly as good as Channel 5's owner Richard Desmond. Nearly, but not quite.

WELL DONE YOU.
Getty Images / Ian Gavan
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OH YEAH BABY.

WOW! You're judgement is spot on. You're just as successful (and as loathed) as Celebrity Big Brother.

OH YEAH BABY.
Channel 5 / Endemol / Via en.wikipedia.org
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. Here are the keys to Channel 5. Just take them and do what you want. JUST TAKE THEM!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
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OH NOES.

OH DEAR! That's not very good. It's nearly as bad as Harold Bishop's storylines in Neighbours (remember when he died and then came back again ten years later. YEAH THAT)

OH NOES.
BBC / Neighbours / Via youtube.com
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