Channel 5 have incredibly odd named documentaries.
The Man Whose Face ForgotThe Man With Umbrellas For HandsThe Girl With Seven MumsThe Unforgettable Walrus Sex Crisis
It is The Girl With Seven Mums!
It is about a father who believed he was a King after being told by God to have seven wives. AS YOU DO.
Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Whitney HoustonAutopsy: The Last Hours Of Adolf HitlerAutopsy: The Last Hours Of Jebediah SpringfieldAutopsy: The Last Hours Of Tony Blair
It's Autopsy: Last Hours Of Whitney Houston.
Yeah. That's right. This documentary is a bit grim isn't it? There's also 'Autopsy: The Last Hours Of Michael Jackson' to enjoy watching during a cold night this January.
World's Most Intense Cake DecorationsWorld's Most Complicated Karate InjuriesWorld's Most Horrifyingly Intense Roller Coaster AccidentsWorld's Scariest Animal Attacks 2
It's World's Scariest Animal Attacks 2!
The thing I love about this documentary is how it is a sequel. So does this mean that these animal attacks are less scary than World's Scariest Animal Attacks 1?
Toy Story: The True StoryClose Encounters Of The Third Kind: The True StoryDumbo: The True StoryWorld War Z: The True Story
It's Close Encounters: The True Story!
Bit weird, this doc, since the word's 'True Story' and 'UFOs' aren't normally seen side by side. But there we go.
I Lost Weight But Lost My HusbandI Ate All The Chocolate And Now I've Lost My KidsThe Man Who Stabbed Al Gore With A GrapefruitBritain's Sexiest Hitler Impersonator
It's I Lost Weight But Lost My Husband!
It investigates whether losing weight leads to happiness. So don't lose weight. DON'T. JUST EAT MORE PIES. GO ON.
Mystery Of The Vampire Sex HunterWorld's Most Difficult OrgasmBritain's Most Shocking BrasNigel Marven's Giant Snake Invasion
It's Nigel Marven's Giant Snake Invasion!
A documentary about snakes. No, not that kind. Stop.
Nazi Quest For The Holy GrailNazi Secret Golden PenisHitler's Favourite Extreme Fishing ChallengesNazis Nazis Nazis Nazis Nazis Nazis
It's Nazi Quest For The Holy Grail!
I wish it was Nazi Secret Golden Penis. I really wish it was.
Nazi TitanicNazi Bermuda TriangleNazis All Go On HolidayNazis Home And Away
It's NAZI TITANIC!
Nope. The Nazis didn't have a Titanic of their own. It's a doc about a forgotten propaganda film made by the Nazis. But the words Nazi Titanic is a lot more catchy isn't it?
An Audience With Michael ParkinsonAn Audience With Cliff RichardAn Audience With Jim DavidsonAn Audience With Hitler
An Audience With Cliff Richard
Channel 5 have a tendency to show A LOT of these old 'Audience With' programmes. This Cliff Richard one features special guest Elaine Page. What a joy.
Where Did All These Hitler Impersonators Come From?There's A Rhino In My House!Help All My Illegal Children Have ExplodedBritain's Most Exciting Petrol Stations
There's A Rhino In My House!
OBVIOUSLY. IT HAS TO BE THAT ONE.
Can You Tell Which One Is The Real Channel 5 Documentary?
AWFUL! That was awful. Absolutely embarrassing. I mean, even Keith Chegwin's "Naked Jungle" wasn't that bad!
That's terrible. Really quite bad. The Wright Stuff is currently having a debate about how bad your score was and the presenters and callers all think that you did really really bad.
Errrrrmmm... That's not very good is it? But at least your judgement is better than Channel 5's Doctor Karl Kennedy decision to keep his band together.
It's not all too bad. You could be doing a bit better. So for a special treat I bought you tickets for 'An Audience With Cliff Richard'. Enjoy!
YOU DID OK! So to celebrate you've been awarded a Nazi tank. Play safe.
Your judgement is ok, so celebrate you have been forced to watch every episode of Home and Away back-to-back forever.
WOW! 7 out of 10. That's hot. You're just as steamy as Karl and Susan's will they / won't they relationship.
WOW! 8 out of 10. You're nearly as good as Channel 5's owner Richard Desmond. Nearly, but not quite.
WOW! You're judgement is spot on. You're just as successful (and as loathed) as Celebrity Big Brother.
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. Here are the keys to Channel 5. Just take them and do what you want. JUST TAKE THEM!
OH DEAR! That's not very good. It's nearly as bad as Harold Bishop's storylines in Neighbours (remember when he died and then came back again ten years later. YEAH THAT)