28 Birthday Cards To Send To Someone You Don't Like

Happy...birthday? A bunch of new ways to say how little you really care.

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1.

someecards.com - May you live twice as long as Michael Jackson and be half as creepy

2.

someecards.com - May you live long enough to shit yourself

3.

someecards.com - May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.

4.

someecards.com - However old you are is the new 30

5.

someecards.com - I'm not making any age-related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are

6.

someecards.com - Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers

7.

someecards.com - This is the perfect day to thank me for remembering your birthday

8.

someecards.com - If you were a Jehovah's Witness, I'd make sure no one tried to celebrate your unwanted pagan birthday

9.

someecards.com - Today's the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus

10.

someecards.com - I'd like to take you out for your birthday when it's convenient for me

11.

someecards.com - Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones

12.

someecards.com - Let's celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else's bed

13.

someecards.com - Happy Anniversary of Your 29th Birthday.

14.

someecards.com - Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.

15.

someecards.com - I'd be much more into your birthday if it was my birthday

16.

someecards.com - At least you're not as old as you will be next year.

17.

someecards.com - Happy Sweet Sixteen or multiple thereof

18.

someecards.com - You don't look a day over whatever age you were a few years ago

19.

someecards.com - Even if it was in haste, I'm glad your parents had unprotected sex around nine months prior to your birth date

20.

someecards.com - I don't remember or care how old you are but let's celebrate like you're 21

21.

someecards.com - Happy birthday to a very special cougar

22.

someecards.com - I remember when you weren't so disturbingly old

23.

someecards.com - You'll never guess what I got you for your birthday because I didn't get you anything for your birthday

24.

someecards.com - I hope you like this birthday ecard better than last year's text message

25.

someecards.com - Sorry your age means you're no longer the primary target of pop culture marketers

26.

someecards.com - Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs.

27.

someecards.com - I find it hard to believe your entire body was in a uterus at one point.

28.

someecards.com - I'm glad your mom didn't have a headache that night.