28 Birthday Cards To Send To Someone You Don’t Like

Happy…birthday? A bunch of new ways to say how little you really care.

1.
someecards.com - May you live twice as long as Michael Jackson and be half as creepy

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2.
someecards.com - May you live long enough to shit yourself

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3.
someecards.com - May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.

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4.
someecards.com - However old you are is the new 30

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5.
someecards.com - I'm not making any age-related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are

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6.
someecards.com - Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers

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7.
someecards.com - This is the perfect day to thank me for remembering your birthday

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8.
someecards.com - If you were a Jehovah's Witness, I'd make sure no one tried to celebrate your unwanted pagan birthday

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9.
someecards.com - Today's the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus

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10.
someecards.com - I'd like to take you out for your birthday when it's convenient for me

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11.
someecards.com - Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones

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12.
someecards.com - Let's celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else's bed

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13.
someecards.com - Happy Anniversary of Your 29th Birthday.

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14.
someecards.com - Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.

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15.
someecards.com - I'd be much more into your birthday if it was my birthday

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16.
someecards.com - At least you're not as old as you will be next year.

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17.
someecards.com - Happy Sweet Sixteen or multiple thereof

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18.
someecards.com - You don't look a day over whatever age you were a few years ago

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19.
someecards.com - Even if it was in haste, I'm glad your parents had unprotected sex around nine months prior to your birth date

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20.
someecards.com - I don't remember or care how old you are but let's celebrate like you're 21

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21.
someecards.com - Happy birthday to a very special cougar

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22.
someecards.com - I remember when you weren't so disturbingly old

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23.
someecards.com - You'll never guess what I got you for your birthday because I didn't get you anything for your birthday

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24.
someecards.com - I hope you like this birthday ecard better than last year's text message

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25.
someecards.com - Sorry your age means you're no longer the primary target of pop culture marketers

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26.
someecards.com - Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs.

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27.
someecards.com - I find it hard to believe your entire body was in a uterus at one point.

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28.
someecards.com - I'm glad your mom didn't have a headache that night.

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Via someecards.com

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