JoAnna Lund: The Shut Down
A few weeks ago I shared the listicle 18 Very Sweary British Words You Need To Use Right Now with my friend, JoAnna Lund. I thought she would find the article entertaining, as one fine day in 2008, surrounded by our usual lunch squad at the University of Minnesota, we decided to up our curse word game by pairing saucy British swear words with food items spotted in the dining hall. Together we concocted "snatch bagel," "cunt muffin" and my personal favorite "twat waffle." As the article was of clear relevance, I clicked the little share email icon with glee and knew in my heart of hearts Lund's day would be made.
In short, I was wrong.
For context, Lund sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury (or a TBI as the cool kids call it); with it she occasionally suffers word loss (or so she thinks). But as you read Lund's colorful response to BuzzFeed's "article," you will most certainly note that Lund finds plenty of words, words that put BuzzFeed's attempt at millennial journalism to shame. Sure, everyone enjoys a good listicle, and we're not pretending anyone at BuzzFeed thinks a listicle is journalism, but Lund poses the questions: Are we not better than the tawdry crap we read, write and share on the Internet? What in God's name does journalistic integrity even mean in 2015? Why are we looking at pet costumes, and Drake gifs? Why does it take us nine hours to write a proposal that could take four?
Don't get me wrong, my intent to jog Lund's memories and inspire a chuckle was a success, but at the end of the day, Lund drives home the point that we clutter our brains with meaningless information. Read below; home girl nailed it.
And no, the irony of posting about BuzzFeed's journalistic integrity on BuzzFeed is not lost on me.
I hate headlines like this. I really appreciate the content, and thank you for sharing with me, but Jesus Christ. It's literally driving me away from the Internet, just trying to avoid it all. I certainly do not need to use them right now (don't tell me how to live my life). It's entertaining to read, and to consider and conjecture various, humorous etymological histories running parallel to the sagas humanity has faced in that specific region of the world, but no one will be worse for wear if I don't immediately insert them in my quotidian vocabulary, risking cultural appropriation, loss of impact in translation, and employing them in an inappropriate context. I think everyone will be okay if "wazzock" doesn't become ubiquitous in US English. I will concede that we could miss out on some snorts and it could serve to lighten the tone of the conversation - though we would also miss out on looking like pompous Americans who are sooo wordly that we call you a name that doesn't even make any sense to someone here- the insult is thus meaningless, and you will probably have to stop conversation to explain your choice of wording, and then the power of the insult is lost! I'd be willing to bet that those who would comprehend and appreciate your British insults are few and far between. Unless, of course, you're a part of the "in" crowd who isfamiliar with that which falls meaningless on everyone else's uninformed ears.
That's a little bit of an overreaction for something, ostensibly, so innocuous as british cussing, but this same unnecessary tone of urgency is widely depicted on the internet, and it makes it hard to take anything seriously. I probably skip over a lot of articles with good content because as soon as I see an interrogative word (such as "why you're wrong about this"); shameless, hyperbolic verbs - even worse when coupled with declarations ("wait till you see what this person does, it will blow your mind"); numeration (so the person knows to what they're committing themselves, ie lack of internet attention spans: "5 things you need to start doing now to salvage your pathetic life"); or tones that suggest (in my opinion, misguided) emergencies; well, I keep right on cruising.
You know what an emergency is? That I drink more coffee to wake this TBI brain up so it doesn't lay the smack down on the sorry cretin who penned this headline.
On the plus side, awful internet headlines keep my internet adventure times focused and concise, so that's nice. Affords me plenty of time for verbose internet rants.
But really, thanks for sending. Americans get terribly offended at "twat" so it probably is imperative that we use any phrase with twat in it right away. I also appreciate the beautiful photos that text are set against, makes it feel genial and inspirational.
Cheers, as they say, mate!
JO
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