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15 Jokes Only Dads Make

DJs these days are so clumsy, always dropping the beat. Be careful: If you find yourself making these kinds of jokes, you might just be becoming your dad.

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1. No, we won't be visiting Carlsbad Caverns...

...I'd rather spend my time at Carl's good caverns.

2. Your mother hates cooking seafood because... makes her crabby.

3. A cat's favorite thing about movie night... hitting paws.

4. Whenever my iPod's plugged in, I call it the Titanic...

...because it's syncing.

5. So you're growing out your facial hair...

United Plankton Productions /

...well, I mustache you why.

6. The other volunteers at the owl sanctuary loved me...

...they think I'm a hoot.

7. What do elephants always pack for vacation?

Imax Filmed Entertainment /

Their trunk.

8. No ifs, ands, or buts, pizza simply is the best takeout food...

...any way you slice it.

9. When it comes to flu home remedies...

...your mother nose best.

10. I always loved helping out with my chipmunk's baths...

...because it seemed like even he was nuts about it.

11. Hey kids, when I'm playing basketball, you can all call me "Your Highness"...

...because you'll all be sitting courtside.

12. You have fair skin, so protect yourself when the sun's out...

...but don't act shady.

13. What do you call 3D goggles with removable data storage and the sturdiness of a truck?


14. What happens after a long day of bowling?

William Wegman /

I have to get off my feet, because them puppies are barking.

15. Yes, I said that right. They called me "The Cow" in college

...because my dance mooves were udderly impeccable.

Are these jokes part of your routine? Watch out, amigo, you could be becoming your dad.

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