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    Posted on Oct 8, 2013

    What Being Unemployed Is Actually Like

    It's all about the comfy clothes, daytime television, and endlessly searching LinkedIn.

    It's a little like 1999 sometimes

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    It's always all "hit me baby one more time" up in your house. Sports bras and sweat pants all day errrday

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    you probably even dance around and sing it too, all alone, in a place of unemployment produced solitude

    You've seen day time soaps, all of them, and you just don't understand

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    Because you will never understand how people want to stay home and watch their stories. If anything, General Hospital is driving you TO employment, quickly.

    But you totally understand this

    And this..

    And also this..

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    Because you know there is no finer source of entertainment

    You have stopped buying regular clothing altogether

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    You might have about 23872394872 pairs by now

    Like who needs business clothes anyway...

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    You know NOTHING will ever make your rear look as good as your yogas do, and that's a fact

    You are hardly aware that this time comes twice a day

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    You are well rested, every day, and thankful for it

    THIS is how you spend your early afternoons

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    Because the 12 and under crowd is really quite hilarious and you enjoy fighting with them, even though light cursing "your mom" cracks are all they've got

    Two Words: Bubble Bath

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    You take the longest bubble baths your little non-working heart desires. No one to steal your hot water and no one to judge your over-use of bubbles

    You could chronicle friend's social media not-so-humblebrags

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    And you HATE them for it

    And even worse...

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    Die, die in hellfire.

    However at the end of the day

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    Maybe it's not so bad

    Because you are hopeful that one day someone will recognize your potential and you will land the job of your dreams

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    ...right?

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