What Being Unemployed Is Actually Like

It's all about the comfy clothes, daytime television, and endlessly searching LinkedIn.

It's a little like 1999 sometimes

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It's always all "hit me baby one more time" up in your house. Sports bras and sweat pants all day errrday

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you probably even dance around and sing it too, all alone, in a place of unemployment produced solitude

You've seen day time soaps, all of them, and you just don't understand

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Because you will never understand how people want to stay home and watch their stories. If anything, General Hospital is driving you TO employment, quickly.

But you totally understand this

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And this..

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And also this..

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Because you know there is no finer source of entertainment

You have stopped buying regular clothing altogether

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You might have about 23872394872 pairs by now

Like who needs business clothes anyway...

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You know NOTHING will ever make your rear look as good as your yogas do, and that's a fact

You are hardly aware that this time comes twice a day

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You are well rested, every day, and thankful for it

THIS is how you spend your early afternoons

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Because the 12 and under crowd is really quite hilarious and you enjoy fighting with them, even though light cursing "your mom" cracks are all they've got

Two Words: Bubble Bath

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You take the longest bubble baths your little non-working heart desires. No one to steal your hot water and no one to judge your over-use of bubbles

You could chronicle friend's social media not-so-humblebrags

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And you HATE them for it

And even worse...

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Die, die in hellfire.

However at the end of the day

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Maybe it's not so bad

Because you are hopeful that one day someone will recognize your potential and you will land the job of your dreams

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...right?