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How Of A Metapostcontinental Philosopher Are You?

After modernity, comes postmodernity. After postmodernity, comes postpostmodernity. And after postpostmodernity comes metapostmodernity. Metapostmodernity is the ultimate phase of theoretical self-consciousness in which the games played by postmodernity are taken seriously and science intersects with charlatanery in ontological cynicism. Hate it or love it, metapostcontinental philosophy is the current predicament of the intellectual self-indulgent class. The question is: are you an accomplice of this geopolitical apocalypse?

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  1. Do you consider yourself a Marxist?

    Hell yeah!
    Marx is outdated.
    Of course. Marx is a fundamental thinker in the history of class oppression.
    Non-Marxist, if that is what you mean.
    Marx has succumbed to the annihilating forces of capital.
    The process of capitalisation has shifted to new codes of understanding.
  2. What do you think about the destiny of philosophy as a discipline?

    Philosophy is alright until it starts diminishing scientific truth.
    Philosophy can even give us metaphysical lessons as long as it goes hand in hand with science.
    The future of philosophy is theory.
    Philosophy will only subsist if it is introduced to science - not science to philosophy.
    Philosophy represents the ultimate form of dynamics in showing us the possibility of producing value ex nihilo.
    Philosophy is the science of being qua being.
  3. Do you think capitalism should be accelerated?

    No, that would only make more people suffer.
    It is not a matter of whether it should or should not be accelerated. Acceleration is an infinite speed, non-stopable process that can't be resisted, only embraced.
    As long as it serves as a speculative tool.
    As long as it does not legitimise capitalist ideology.
    Capitalism is an abstract generality. What should be accelerated is the micro-processes of machinic construction of value.
    Why revolutionise capitalism when we can revolutionise philosophy-(of)-revolution?
  4. Do you think Reza Negarestani is real?

    It depends on the proofs you can give to demonstrate it.
    Whatcha say bout'me??????
    I want the third pill.
    There is no pre-given existence. The conditions of appearence must be built upon the ashes of representation.
    It depends on the materials used for the construction of Reza.
  5. Choose a topic

    Emilie du Ch√Ętelet
    Quantum physics
    Occult sciences
    Complexity theory
  6. What do you think of this guy?

    Cultural Services of the French Embassy
    Just an instance of a bunch of Parisinian bourgeoisies.
    A very important thinker that has opened new paths in the realm of philosophy.
    For real??
    Other mathematical disciplines better serve the purposes of speculation.
    Who is this guy?
    The most important philosopher alive.
  7. When I say China, what comes to your mind?

    United World Mission
    A good example of value-producing machines.
    A cruel dictatorship.
    Capitalism doesn't need democracy.
    Sino-capital will dismantle the West.
    I don't have anything to say.
    China plays a key role in the Anthropocene.
  8. Do you think the transcendental can be relinquished?

    No way.
    The transcendental cannot be relinquished. However, knowledge about reality can be obtained.
    The only transcendental that cannot be relinquished is transcendental miserablism.
    The transcendental as incompleteness cannot be relinquished.
    The transcendental is subject of relinquishment as much as subject of production.
    The transcendental method should be used as a tool.
  9. And what about sexual difference?

    Sexual difference should stick to sufficient sexuality.
    Materialism should be the base for any new conception of sexual difference.
    Neither he or she, but it.
    If the Man is all, the Woman is not-all.
    Gender is socially constructed.
    Capitalism doesn't care if you're a man or a woman.
  10. And finally, choose one of these:

    Via Taringa
    Via Taringa
    Via 5HP
    Via 5HP
    Via Blocked Drain Leeds
    Via Blocked Drain Leeds

How Of A Metapostcontinental Philosopher Are You?

You got: Neoreactionary

Congratulations, you have crossed the borders of acceptable non-politically correct rant and reached the nth power. You have literally crashed with the bedrock of the Real: nothing is given, everything is produced. Stalinist State + Thatcherist morality is the recipe for global annihilation. And also, you have a Bitcoin account and travel through time-space in the deep web.

Satibalzane on Devian Art
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You got: HyperDeLandian

Your obsession with assemblages and complex systems has brought you to a state of no return in which an ant colony is the most fascinating thing - so long as it behaves rhizomaticaly. The answer to "how many fucks you give?" is always the same: n-1.

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You got: Neo-rationalist

We get it. You don't have any feelings whatsoever and you are gonna save the world from poststructuralism and irrationalist romanticism. You are not even interested in curing cancer: only the alienating confrontation with the truth of extinction can save us from terrestrial primate enjoyment.

Prometheus (2012)
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You got: Non-metapostcontinental

OK, so: you are metapostcontinental - metapostcontinental. That equals non-metapostcontinental, right? Whatever that means. The real is always full, as well as metapostoncontinental theory. Full of bullshit.

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You got: Low-key metapostcontee

YOU LIKE TO PLAY. That is for sure. Between two options, you always choose the third one (just like you-know-who). Fortunately, at the end of the day you are part of the team, even though you don't want to recognise it.

Low-key metapostcontee
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You got: Folk metaphysician

The emergence of folk metaphysics can be traced back to three main factors: 1. The fading away of the continental/analytic divide. 2. The consolidation of Academia and the resulting hegemony of correlationism, and 3. The will of realisation of essence through existence by means of Communism. Whether you identify with these three or just one, we recommend you to seek proper assistance in your nearest Lacanian psychoanalyst or Deleuzian schizoanalyst. Whatever you're into.

Folk metaphysician
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