1. Dance like no one is watching.
2. Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
3. Keep your friends close...
...and your enemies closer.
4. Be resourceful.
5. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
6. Dating is tough...
7. Skinny jeans aren't for everyone.
8. Work hard...
9. Be proud of your body.
OK, maybe not THAT proud...
10. There's nothing like a home-cooked meal...
...or a nice quiet night in.
11. Bald is beautiful.
12. Don't allow yourself to be put in a vulnerable situation.
13. Tell your parents you love 'em...
...even when they get on your last nerve.
14. When life gives you lemons...
15. Don't smoke.
16. Fight for what you believe in.
17. Make sure you get 60 minutes of exercise per day...
...before it's too late.
18. Age is just a number.
19. Always get the warranty.
20. Be honest with yourself.
21. Follow the rules...
...or suffer the consequences.
22. It's not how big it is, it's how you use it.
23. Perception often trumps reality.
24. When you find something you like...
...stick with it.
25. Find a good doctor.
26. Embrace diversity.
27. Never break a promise.
28. Never let "the one" get away.
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