back to top
Community

How Would You Be Sorted At Eaglecrest, The American Wizarding School I Made Up?

Uncomfortable with Ilvermorny, J.K. Rowling's American Hogwarts? Luckily, there's an alternative institution of magical learning in the Land of the Free: EAGLECREST, the American Hogwarts that I invented when I was drunk in 2014. Located inside Mount Rushmore and led by Headbroster Joe Biden, EAGLECREST may just be the American wizard school for you. Take this quiz to find out which of its four houses you belong in.

Posted on
  1. Which American landmark is your favorite?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    The White House
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Statue of Liberty
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Disneyworld
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via David McNew / Getty
    The Grand Canyon
    Via David McNew / Getty
  2. Which eagle merchandise most appeals to you?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via polyvore.com
    Cute bikini
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via etsy.com
    Muscle tank
    Via etsy.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via vat19.com
    Terrifying rubber mask
    Via vat19.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via sharon.audubon.org
    Organic cotton t-shirt benefitting actual eagle sanctuary
  3. Which quote by a founding father appeals most to you?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    "He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression." --Paine
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers...can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels?" --Franklin
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "A little of what you call frippery is very necessary." --Abigail Adams
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Be courteous to all, but intimate with few." --Washington
  4. Where would you most like to live?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
  5. Which hand emoji resonates with you?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nail Polish
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Raised fist
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fist bump
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Peace sign
  6. Which song from Hamilton is your favorite?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Satisfied"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Wait For It"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "The Room Where It Happens"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "You'll Be Back"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I still haven't listened to Hamilton.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Other, and I'm offended you didn't include it.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'm not really a musical person.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Uh, only ALL OF THEM??
  7. Which superhero do you most identify with?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Steve Rogers/Captain America
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tony Stark/Iron Man
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Clint Barton/Hawkeye
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Thor
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Jessica Jones
    Correct
    Incorrect
    T'Challa/Black Panther
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Wade Wilson/Deadpool
  8. What was your main objection to JKR's American Hogwarts?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Embarrassing & offensive issues of cultural appropriation
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Seemed fine, didn't care
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Just a general lack of America-specific creativity & pizzaz
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I don't like anything nerds like
  9. Which Plastic is most like you?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Karen
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Regina
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gretchen
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cady
  10. Which face emoji are you most likely to use?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Kissy face
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Unimpressed face
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Winky tongue face
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sleepy face
  11. Which magical creature most appeals to you?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anything that grants wishes
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Dragons
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Werewolves
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Unicorns
  12. Choose a cat, please.

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
  13. Choose a Beyoncé, please.

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
  14. Choose a Joey B., please.

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via Pool / Getty Images
    Window Joe
    Via Pool / Getty Images
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sexy Joe
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via SAUL LOEB / Getty Images
    Snackin' Joe
    Via SAUL LOEB / Getty Images
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Via Alex Wong / Getty
    Smackdown Joe
    Via Alex Wong / Getty

Did you know you can sign up for a BuzzFeed Community account and create your own BuzzFeed posts? Get started here!

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
 
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.