The 13 Commandments Of Instagram

Thou shalt abide

2. 1. Thou shalt not post more than once per day, and twice on the weekends

3. 2. Thou shalt limit thy selfies to once per week

4. 3. Thou shalt post puppy pictures freely, as long as it adheres to commandment one.

5. 4. Double tap unto others as you would have them double tap unto you

6. 5. Thou shalt limit thy bump updates to once per trimester (or none at all)

7. 6. Cocktails are not only allowed, but strongly suggested for your daily picture. Bonus points for drink accessories (i.e. umbrellas, pretty straws, fishbowls, etc.)

8. 7. Thou shalt photograph any purchase over $250 immediately

9. 8. Thou shalt try and make thy pictures as artsy as possible, even though none of us are artists. (Pro tip: just put your camera as close as humanly possible an object, #bam artsy)

10. 9. Thou shalt not use more than 3 hashtags for any one post

11. 10. If thou is on vacation or at a bachelorette party, commandment number one will be deemed null and void by a jury of your peers. Post freely.

12. 11. Thou shalt know thy audience. Babies may be posted at will, but I will unfollow

13. 12. Thou shalt calm the f down if thy is a small business owner. See also commandment one. See also, no one cares. See also, we know your URL if we need to see more.

14. 13. Thou shalt try and make us laugh on occasion

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