1. They're Wearing Jorts.

I hope that ginger has sunscreen on. Nothing worse than a jorts tan line, it makes your denim bikini look turrible.
2. They're a Virgin (who can't drive)

If I had to guess, I would attribute this to the wearing of jorts 24/7.
3. They Look Like They're Inviting You to Play Miss Mary Mack

Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack all dressed in black black back with silver buttons buttons buttons. Warning: this can be deceiving. As a lover of Miss Mary Mack, I was disappointed when I got slapped across the face after trying to engage in the popular clapping game with that old lady.
4. They have beautiful blonde locks

Just maybe not all over their head...
5. They're sporting the gator logo in pink

Oh, I had no idea gator colors changed to pink! Good to know!
6. They're a killer athlete

Allegedly.
7. They're Losing

It's all in good fun, gator fans. I'm sure you think us Vol fans don't have any teeth and we all marry our cousins. Well, he was a second cousin, only missing six teeth and it was just once, thank you very much. Go Big Orange.