Skip To Content
    Updated on Jul. 16, 2020. Posted on Jul. 13, 2020

    21 Products You Might Need If You Just Effing Love Swearing

    This list is exclusively for proud potty mouths.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI β€” prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. An enamel pin fortune cookie with a message that feels pretty appropriate at the moment. It's made of scratch-resistant alloy, so the fortune will be nice and clear when you pin it on your jacket.

    A fortune cookie with a message that says you're fucked
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $11.89.

    2. A mug that offers some words of wisdom for you to contemplate over your morning caffeine fix. The image is printed on both sides and it's totally microwave safe, so you can reheat your coffee if it's cooled down.

    A mug that says a wise woman once said fuck this shit and she lived happily ever after.
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $21.87.

    3. A pair of earrings that say what you're thinking when you can't actually say it out loud. They're hypoallergenic, so they won't bother your ears, and won't rust or tarnish over time.

    A pair of earrngs that say fuck you
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $12.97.

    4. A decal that'll make other drivers laugh out loud (and possibly question your parenting, but hey, no one's perfect). It'll stick to pretty much any clean, hard, smooth surface, but would be particularly funny on a minivan.

    A decal on a car that says hella kids in this bitch honk if one falls out
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $7.15.

    5. Some socks that'll flip the bird for you. Wear them under sneakers for a hidden message that only you'll be in on, or wear them around the house when you're feeling a lil' passive aggressive.

    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get them from Amazon Canada for $10.87.

    6. A floral blanket that'll keep you warm during your afternoon snooze and will remind you that in the grand scheme of things, you're probs doing OK. It can also be used as a beach throw, a picnic blanket, or as a wall hanging if you need a little motivational reminder.

    A floral blanket that says shit could be worse
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $20.99+ (available in two sizes).

    7. A memo pad that'll help when you need to clarify your thoughts on your own actions, or knock sense into a friend. If you're scared of confrontation (I certainly am), this might help you smooth down heated situations while having a few laughs.

    A notepad that says w t f
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $7.93.

    8. A hilarious tea towel that'll serve as a less-than-gentle reminder to everyone in the house to wash πŸ‘πŸΎ their πŸ‘πŸΎ damn πŸ‘πŸΎ hands πŸ‘πŸΎ. Seriously though β€” wash your hands, folks!

    A hand towel that says wash your fucking hands in cursive script
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $23.

    9. A meditation journal that might help you practice mindfulness when it feels like all you can do is watch the world burn down around you. It offers prompts and suggestions that'll help you add a bit of tranquillity into your daily routine.

    A book that says mindful as uck
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $7.99.

    10. A banner that'll help your celebrate your favourite meal, even if it's just in the background during Zoom dates. Just grab some OJ, pop some bubbly, and settle in for a good gossip sesh.

    A banner that says let's brunch bitches
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $12.88.

    11. A pillow cover that comes with fabric markers, so you can decorate this lovely piece however you please. The markers are permanent, so they won't smear on your other furniture. It's fun way to add a little personal touch to your decor.

    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $36.95.

    12. Some seasoning that'll add a spicy and delicious kick to your next barbecue cookout. Reviewers say that it's delicious on steak, burgers, and veggies and that it's so good they've bought several.

    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $32.99.

    13. A key chain to gift to that special someone that needs a reminder about how great they are. Or use it yourself, so you never lose motivation to remain your most awesome self.

    A keychain that says you're pretty fucking awesome keep that shit up
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $12.99.

    14. A colouring book that'll help you unwind while giving you your daily fix of profanity. Make some tea, grab a blankie, and colour all your problems away.

    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Make sure you pick up some pencil crayons!

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $8.26.

    15. A button to press when you need to call someone out on their BS. It lights up and loudly announces a variety of slogans about BS that's sure to make everyone laugh.

    A button that says bullshit.
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $16.32.

    16. Some muslin bags for you to keep all your must-haves, so you'll always be prepared for disaster. Whether it's condoms, painkillers, a nail file, or just some dental floss, it's always a good idea to have an emergency stash.

    A drawstring bag that says oh shit kit
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get a set of ten from Amazon Canada for $18.97.

    17. A pair of socks that'll say what you're thinking after you've had a long, hard day and just want to put your feet up. They're made of a blend of cotton and polyester, so they're breathable and will keep your feet comfy all day.

    A pair of socks with writing on the sole one says fuck and the other says off
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $11.98.

    18. A doormat that'll playfully address anyone that comes knocking and hopefully deters the people you don't actually want to see. It can be used as either an indoor or outdoor piece, and it's easy to clean since it's machine washable, so you can throw it in when it's looking a little grimy.

    A doormat that says oh shit not your again
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $25.99.

    19. Let That Sh*t Go: A Journal for Leaving Your Bullsh*t Behind and Creating a Happy Life by Monica Sweeney, because holding onto grudges takes up too much of your energy. Working through the journal will help you leave the BS in the past through some profanity and catharsis, so you can shine a little brighter.

    A flat copy of the book
    Amazon Canada

    Get it in paperback from Amazon Canada for $18.85.

    20. A mug to gift to that special someone who is unabashedly proud of being called the C-word. The mug is personalizable, so you can put in the name of anyone you think would enjoy this sassy item.

    A mug that says Sarah owns this mug and she's a cunt
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $15.89.

    21. And lastly, a book on eating cock, because it's a delicious and nutritious protein that's a great alternative to red meat. It has delectable recipes for meals the whole family will enjoy, but don't let the little ones read it β€” it's full of naughty innuendos that are meant for adult eyes only.

    A book called 50 ways to eat cock
    Amazon Canada / Via amazon.ca

    Get it from Amazon Canada for $19.58 (paperback), or for free on Kindle.

    When people tell you to mind your language:

    NBC

    Looking for more great πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ Canadian πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ shopping deals? Check out our recommendations for nice products under $25, books you'll definitely want to read this summer, and products that'll help if you're always really freaking hot.