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1. A handy dandy waterproof notepad to jot down the countless Nobel prize-worthy ideas you conjur up while scrub-a-dub-dubbing.
2. A beer and wineglass holder that increases the effectiveness of a long shower's stress-relieving abilities — bottom's up!
3. A restorative foot scrubber for a deeply satisfying massage (softer inner bristles) and baby-smooth and callus-free tootsies (stiff outer bristles).
4. Easy-to-use shower curtain splash guards or clips to tackle troublesome gaps and prevent unnecessary leakage.
5. A curved shower rod that teaches your curtain how to be less of an asshole, i.e. stop knocking over stuff perched on the edges and sticking to your booty.
6. Cooling soap cubes to bring your temperament down and create that visceral "ahh" effect after a long-ass day.
7. An ingenious towel warmer for ultimate post-shower bliss and coziness — freezing bathrooms have met their match.
8. A ~steamy~ trio of fresh fir needle, orange ginger, and winter mint shower tablets that come to life on the shower floor and envelop you in inviting fragrances.
9. A totally spiffy color-changing showerhead to put all other showerheads to shame: the colors correspond with changes in water temperature, which you can clearly monitor and see in its built-in display.
10. A detachable showerhead with a built-in speaker that delivers crisp sound and wirelessly connects to your device of choice up to a range of 33 feet.
11. A deep conditioner that costs less than your daily latte and gives you a concentrated boost of hydration, nourishment, and ~rich-girl hair~ glossiness — all in three minutes (or more! You make the rules!).
12. A hanging shower caddy sturdy enough to fit ~all~ of your shampoo and body wash bottles without breaking on ya 💪.
13. Or, if you have possibly suspect roommates, a personal shower locker armed with a combo lock that insures no one's stealing your pricey, hard-earned hair masks (or germifying your loofas, ew!).
14. An odor-eliminating plug-in that uses a lil' fan coupled with carbon filters to trap and neutralize nasty smells.
15. Shea butter-infused body lotion you apply IN THE SHOWER — because waiting for sticky lotion to dry afterwards is for amateurs.
16. A non-slip velvety bath mat that makes your first post-shower step feel like you're bouncing on a cloud or a bamboo-slated mat that naturally resists mildew and mold.
17. A compact waterproof Bluetooth-enabled speaker to help facilitate your favorite part of the day: a no-holding-back karaoke session.
18. Exfoliating back scrubbers and washcloths for a gentle but deep clean 👏 every 👏 where 👏, even the hard-to-reach ones.
19. A.H.A-formulated body soap to pair with your new scrubbers: it employs papaya and grapefruit extracts to break down dead skin cells, while ginseng extract and oat protein refreshes and soothes.
20. A microfiber towel that is long enough to wrap turban-style, way more gentle on your strands (than normal cotton towels), cuts down on drying time, and reduces frizz.
21. A soothing AF green tea ~splash mask~ for a facial that will win the hearts of impatient people everywhere: pat a capful of liquid onto your face for as little as 15 seconds (!!!) and rinse off.
22. Polished AF dispensers to turn your bathroom's ugliest eyesores into majorly chic works of minimalist art.
23. A detangling wizard — aka the Wet Brush — with incredibly soft and flexible bristles that are godsends for people who wince at the thought of combing through their knotty hair.
24. An adjustable stool to keep yourself stabilized and make shaving a million times less precarious (and it's very helpful for injuries too, of course).
25. Fog-free mirrors for perfect shaves and no-color-dye-left washes: customers rave that the first mirror REALLY doesn't fall off and the second mirror has snazzy/techy radio and Bluetooth functions.
26. A sulfate-free, chemical-free body wash formulated with a blend of chamomile, lavender, and vetiver that helps ease tension and promote a full night of rest.
27. An antimicrobial curtain to keep bacteria and stains nonexistent — everyone's preferred form of them.
28. An utilitarian curtain that may or may not have inspired the classic Natasha Bedingfield hit "Pocketful of Beauty Products."
29. An extra-long vinyl bath mat with plenty of grippy suction cups to prevent major slip-ups by little and full-sized people alike.
30. A deep-cleansing anti-residue shampoo beloved by the masses (1,229 Amazon reviews, nbd) and capable of making you feel like you emerge from a shower with a new head of hair!
31. A dual-ended cleansing brush to get the verrry most out of your favorite foam cleanser.
32. Potent color-protecting and -enhancing shampoo that refreshes faded highlights and saves bleached hair from the ravages of unwanted brassy yellow tones.
33. A colorful (and hygienic) shower cap for people who aren't about washing their hair every day.
You choosing not to settle for mediocre showers and thus living your best life:
The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.