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1. A roomy bedside organizer to keep all in-bed essentials just a lil' arm reach away.
2. A heated blanket that steps up to the plate and scores a home run when a regular 'ol blanket won't provide you with adequate warmth.
3. A laptop desk to peruse the internet at your height- and angle-adjusted leisure. Plus, plenty of room on the side for snacks and a steaming hot cup of cocoa.
4. A hygge-inspired subscription box that makes your joy and comfort its first priority with hand-chosen products that include artisan bath and body items, candles or lights, home decor, books, games, and food & drinks.
5. A twistable gadget holder for freeing your arms from the tiring task of holding your phone or tablet while you drool over Great British Baking Show for a day straight.
6. A flexible long-limbed tablet holder that doesn't even blink an eye at the sight of messy beds — it's ~that~ confident when it comes to its work. #professional
7. An adorable Hello Kitty sleep shirt to nap all damn day in — what are plans, anyways?
8. A late-night journal for exploring and hopefully quieting down all the buggy thoughts that are keeping you from priority #1: lots of sleep.
9. A thoughtful book on mindfulness from a sloth's perspective, which means learning to take things slow...like, extra slow — no, even slower than that.
10. A cute-as-a-button nightstand with plenty of space up top and inside its canvas drawers to stuff to full capacity with food, drinks, reading materials, etc., because even if the apocalypse comes, you're not budging.
11. A heavenly shredded memory foam pillow that has the right balance of thickness, firmness, and flexibility so it won't cause neck pain, nor a rift in the beautiful relationship you have with your bed.
12. A calming sound machine with customizable levels of white noise or fan sounds, so even loud engine sounds, beep-happy drivers, and partying neighbors can't ruin your happy sleep time.
13. An extremely durable and forgiving 10 foot cord so you don't have to maneuver this way and that — aka leave the toasty cocoon of your bed — to charge your silly phone.
15. Bluetooth earphones stealthily tucked into a snug fleece headband so you can fall asleep listening to music or watch videos while lying on your side without getting wrapped in cords and/or murdering your ears!
16. A 32" rotating extended grabber so anything you drop from the bed is just a sturdy claw pinch away — true peace of mind, folks.
17. A reading subscription box that pairs a book with specially curated items that are only to be opened when you reach a certain page number, so you really feel as if you're being ~brought into~ the story.
18. A vintage spoon upcycled into a handstamped bookmark so an attack of the sudden zzz's never makes you lose your spot.
20. An eye mask whose comfort levels are only second to its rhyming skills.
21. A heated eye massager that gently vibrates against the area around your puffy eyes to help your eye cream work more effectively and cover up your late night Netflix binges.
22. An ergonomic buddha bowl so you can easily down soul-comforting soups, congee, and oatmeal with the ease of one hand while the other keeps busy scrolling down Tumblr.
23. An Echo Dot for a bedside friend named Alexa who can answer any pressing questions (like celebrity birthdates, so you can figure out your astrological compatibility) and keep you up-to-date on whatever's going on ~out there~.
24. A cozy pin that just so happens to compliment your favorite, extremely riveting hobby!
25. An extra-stimulating two-in-one coffee mug for all the times you desperately need a latte to follow up your initial espresso shot (literally *all* the time).
26. A scrumptious snacks-stuffed care package from you to you — honestly, you deserve it. And by it, I mean one per week.
27. Or a ~gourmet~ snack bag filled to the brim with chocolate-covered deliciousness, in the form of coffee beans, nuts, sea salt caramels, and more!
28. Sage sloth wall decor you can always depend on to remind you of what's really important in life: sleeping and absolutely nothing else.
29. A lil' omelette maker so you can whip up a yummy treat in 45 seconds à la stoneware clay dish — when you need a little something more substantial than five different types of chips.
30. A wine-to-door subscription that lets you choose four bottles (from hundreds of 'em starting at $13 each) according to your taste or lets them do their magic (which includes a taste quiz) and pick them out for ya!
31. And finally a classic lil' bell to have your faithful servants — I mean, roommates or family members— fetch a glass of water for you when you're so parched you couldn't possibly have the energy to walk to the kitchen.
32. And once they've answered your siren call, novelty socks that tell them exactly what you need.
My forever mood:
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The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.