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29 Fancy Things You Need If You Were Royalty In Your Past Life

We're not all born with silver spoons... but we have credit cards and that's kind of the same thing?

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1. Store your nicely-aged wine (or three-buck Chucks) in a sleek copper wine rack that deserves to be placed somewhere it can be fully admired.

amazon.com

Like as a centerpiece on your dining table. You think I'm kidding.

Get it from Amazon for $26.09 (available in copper and nickel).

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2. Slip into a silky floral or a monochrome robe for lazy days or Pinterest-worthy wedding prep with your crew.

amazon.com, amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review (for the floral robe): "I live in this robe! It's so soft and beautiful and it fits perfectly (I'm 5'5" and 130 lbs with a 28" waist). It stops a couple inches above my knees and is comfortable both open and tied. I brought one home when visiting my parents and my little sister and mom fell in love and both ended up buying the same one! I've washed / dried it (on low with towels) several times and the colors still pop." —KatSin

Get the first one from Amazon for $9.95+ (available in sizes S-XXL and 13 colors) and the second one from Amazon for $8.99+ (available in sizes S-XL and 20 colors).

3. Set aside 30 minutes to (gently) slap on a gold foil or collagen face masks for lit snapchats and even more lit skin.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Like skin that's lit from within? Get it? Ehh?

Get the gold foil masks (a set of 20 sheets) from Amazon for $10.30 and the jelly-like masks (a set of five) from Amazon for $8.93.

4. Brighten your home with a bouquet of rainbow roses because normal monochrome roses are obviously for plebeians.

ftd.com

I'll judge you if you kill them prematurely.

Get a half dozen or full dozen from FTD for $29.99+ (available with or without a vase).

5. Hold a self-coronation with a breathtaking gold pearl-entwined headpiece that makes your royal status known to all.

etsy.com

Get it from Which Goose on Etsy for $68. Customizable with white or freshwater pearls, as well as with or without ribbons.

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7. Pretend that you can afford weekly spa facials with a facial steamer to unclog pores and help other skin care products absorb more efficiently.

amazon.com

Promising review: "I am impressed with just how much steam this little machine puts out! I have a skin condition that crops up whenever I come into contact with an allergen or whenever the humidity is too low...and I live in a low humidity region. Until I can relocate, my solution has been to lean over a pan of steaming water. It always makes me nervous as the pan is hot and I am a klutz. This is WAY better and far less scary! The amount of steam is much greater and definitely denser. Afterwards, my whole face feels moist — not like 'you just had water vapour hit your skin' moist, but deeper than that, like baby skin. Soft, soft, soft!" —Vanessa Kirby

Get it from Amazon for $36.99 (also available in blue).

10. Leave room-temperature towels in the dust and swaddle yourself in heated ones straight from a machine whose only job in life is to pamper post-shower you.

amazon.com

The built-in timer lets you heat your towels (or robes!) for 15, 30, 45, or 60 minutes.

Promising review: "This was a Christmas present to myself after my boyfriend started putting my towels in the dryer while I was in the shower. This is a wonderful investment! I use it everyday — so awesome to have a warm towel after I'm done in the shower." —rockysmom

Get it from Amazon for $99.99.

11. Pop a pair of super cozy herbal booties into the microwave for a ~hot minute~ to soothe overworked and/or perpetually cold feet.

uncommongoods.com

Promising review: "My boyfriend has perpetually frozen feet! Socks just don't cut it to warm his piggies, so these booties were perfect. They smell lovely and stay warm for quite some time!" —Pie

Get them from Uncommon Goods for $34. You can also get a matching herbal scarf if you'd like.

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12. Start building a stylish vanity fit for a queen with a chic black or French-inspired white desk + stool set.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review (for the first one): "I think the biggest gamble with a large set like this is the delivery process, but when my shipment arrived it was double-boxed and I was happy to see how well it had been stored with many packings of styrofoam. Once I knew it was completely unharmed, I realized how beautiful this vanity really is. Easy setup, beautiful color and texture, and the mirror is glamorous and expansive. Best purchase ever!" —Jill

Get the first one from Amazon for $214.33 and the second one from Amazon for $239.99.

14. Light a candle and get ready in style with a "good in gold" beauty box that includes a trio of posh makeup brushes and a handheld mirror.

birchbox.com

Get it from Birchbox for $45.

You can also purchase some of the items separately like the leave-in milk treatment, candle, and hand creme — and you can get the prism frame (in multiple sizes) from Amazon.

16. Ditch the Chapstick for ritzy AF lip gloss speckled with actual ✨ 23-karat gold flakes ✨ for the softest and most supple pout of your life.

sephora.com

Also formulated with camellia oil and squalane, but the gold flakes kind of overshadow them. #biased

Promising review: "To be honest I didn't expect this lip balm to do much, but I bought it anyway because I love the gold spun element. However, it ended up totally blowing my mind! I have very dry lips and use lip scrubs even in the summer. I've tried numerous products from Fresh, Burt's Bees, Lush, Eos, and Kiehl's and I can say for sure that none of those are as magical as this one! This lip balm immediately softens post-lip scrub and keep my lips moisturized for half a day! —moonmous

Get it from Sephora for $30.

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17. Wear gold spiked headphones so you maintain some semblance of grace even when you're flailing your arms to the beat of the latest Rihanna jam.

urbanoutfitters.com

Hopefully you're not stuck listening to royalty-free music. That'd be a drag.

Get them from Urban Outfitters for $19.99.

18. Strut through the airport like you own the place with metallic carry-on suitcases.

amazon.com

Promising review: "I didn't want to make a huge investment, just something light and versatile as I have a back condition that makes traveling especially by plane difficult and painful. These are very light, roll with great ease, and can even be stored inside one another. They stood up nicely during cross-country round trips. I certainly could have spent more money on luggage, but especially at this price, these are exactly what I needed." —Kimberly A. Ahrenholz

Get a three-piece set from Amazon for $131.99 (available in six colors).

19. And during the flight, mix yourself an Old Fashioned to pass the time with a snazzy carry-on cocktail kit.

amazon.com

You're gonna have a great time even if you're flying coach, dammit.

Get the cocktail kit from Amazon for $15.30+ (available in five drink variations).

20. Pad your office chair or car seat with a vibrating and heated massaging cushion that has individually-controlled sections so you can have all-over relief or target specific areas.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review: "I have purchased several of these over the past four years and LOVE them! I use one in my office and it's on for eight to ten hours every day! I also use one in my SUV when I'm driving on long trips. The massage areas are exactly where I need them and the heat is definitely an added bonus. I have tried different brands but always come back to this one." —Karen D. Greene

Get it from Amazon for $49.99.

21. Slash open your mail like the classy dragon-fighting queen you are with a GoT-inspired sword letter opener.

boxlunch.com

Promising review: "This is by far the finest letter opener in the realm. I no longer simply open my mail — I unsheath Longclaw every morning and slay each envelope with the deadly finesse of a battle-worn warrior. I deal swift and terrible justice to spam. With Longclaw by my side, I know that opening a water bill will never be the same again. Forged from the finest Valyrian steel, this letter opener strikes fear into the hearts of bills, notices, and payment reminders alike. As much as I would like to recite a ballad in this letter opener's honour, I must now go, for I have just received a birthday card from someone in Canada and must open it immediately. I guess the North does remember after all." —madonionslicer

^Ok, can we have a round of applause for this review though?? 👏 👏 👏

Get it from BoxLunch or Amazon for $24.90.

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22. Don a ridiculously elegant dress worthy of the Met Gala red carpet.

us.asos.com, eloquii.com

But like, a couple thousand dollars cheaper (as gorgeous as those Givenchys and Dolce & Gabannas are...).

Get the first dress from Asos for $124 (available in sizes 0-12) second dress from Eloquii for $129.90 (available in sizes 14-24).

23. Order Alexa around in lieu of an executive assistant (just for the time being, of course).

amazon.com

Promising review: "For $50 and what it does, how can you go wrong? The answer is: you can't. This thing is awesome. Not much bigger than a hockey puck, but with all the power of the full-sized Echo, except for the speaker — but since you can pair it with a Bluetooth speaker or plug it in via cable, there's really no downside to the Dot. Setup done in minutes, new skills easily added, and two million songs instantly available if you have Amazon Prime. I purchased a second Dot for my brother who's bedridden in a care facility and he loves it. He's a trivia buff so he went to town using it to search Wikipedia for all sorts of info." —ComputerGuy

Get it from Amazon for $49.99.

24. Moisturize and prep your skin with a superfruit-packed pink concoction — aka unicorn essence — that acts as a dual-purpose serum and makeup primer.

sephora.com

Promising review: "I've tried different face oils like argan, rose hip, etc. and they all leave my skin super greasy and/or don't do much. This one is totally worth the Instagram hype. First off, it's so pretty — it's pink and shimmery but the glitter doesn't show on your face, which is great because unless I'm going to a party, I don't want to have a face full of glitter. It also smells AMAZING. This stuff absorbs super quickly too so your face isn't left feeling greasy or sticky at all. I use this in conjunction with my Philosophy Renewed Hope In a Jar and then apply my primer and foundation, which go on SO MUCH better as a result. My nose is incredibly oily but this serum doesn't make it shiny or greasy and it soothes the surrounding dry patches that a normal moisturizer just won't!" —samkeaysxo

Get it from Sephora for $54.

25. Plop a mid-century modern sofa or futon in your living room for lounging and dozing off in cushy velvet heaven.

urbanoutfitters.com, amazon.com

Promising review (for the second sofa): "Wow, this is even more gorgeous in person! I'm so happy I ordered this for my mid-century themed apartment. It's well-made and perfect for a small apartment, and the best part is that it turns into a bed." —Karla F.

Get the first one from Urban Outfitters for $898 (available in four colors) and the second one from Amazon for $214.99 (available in three colors).

26. Spritz yourself with princess-inspired fragrance until you become a princess — it's simple logic.

amazon.com

Promising review: "Vera Wang Princess has been a favorite of mine for 10+ years. It smells absolutely lovely — fresh but not too overpowering or flowery. It's a very feminine and versatile perfume and can be worn every day for almost any occasion, which is what I love most about it. By the way, it's insanely cheaper on Amazon. I have seen the same size go for $60-80 at Macy's! I recommend this for any woman, young or old, who wants to feel and smell fresh & pretty. —Ninfa Lorenza

Get a 3.4 oz bottle from Amazon for $23.99.

27. Upgrade your morning joe with a fancy coffee maker so beautiful it'll actually breathe life back into your 3-AM-YouTube-Wormhole eyes.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review (for the first one): "I am just a regular coffee drinker and was on the lookout for something to make a quick cup of quality coffee before work. I am not a huge fan of the Keurig, so my other options were the Starbucks Via, Tassimo, or the Nespresso — I felt like the first two were too similar to the Keurig, so I decided to go with the Nespresso.

For *not* being an espresso drinker, I am absolutely in love with this product! When I make coffee I normally add a touch of cream to it, so I use the milk frother for every cup I make. Once you have your coffee and milk froth preferences set, it will make a cup with that ratio each time. I also bought caramel and chocolate syrup to make lattes just like the ones I get at Starbucks, if not better!" —E. DeGrand

Get the first one from Amazon for $279+ (available in four colors) and the second one from Amazon for $149.99+ (available in four colors/styles).

28. Sweep your cheekbones with magical light-diffusing pearls that were exclusively reserved for actual angels — but they were gracious enough to lend them to you, an earthly queen.

@guerlain / Via instagram.com

Promising review: "I purchased this originally because the packaging was so beautiful and it seems to be a collector's item. When I actually used it on my face as a setting powder, it gave a similar photoshopped effect as the Ambient Lighting Powders by Hourglass. Also the smell is absolutely fantastic, just like violets!" —moziemac

Get it from Sephora for $62 (available in four colors).

29. And make your finger the focal point of your entire lewk with an ethereal diamond ring that resembles a full moon with tiny orbiting stars.

The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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