1. Store your nicely-aged wine (or three-buck Chucks) in a sleek copper wine rack that deserves to be placed somewhere it can be fully admired.
2. Slip into a silky floral or a monochrome robe for lazy days or Pinterest-worthy wedding prep with your crew.
4. Brighten your home with a bouquet of rainbow roses because normal monochrome roses are obviously for plebeians.
5. Hold a self-coronation with a breathtaking gold pearl-entwined headpiece that makes your royal status known to all.
6. Insist on only writing with diamond-crowned ballpoint pens that will turn every word you write into a poetic masterpiece*.
7. Pretend that you can afford weekly spa facials with a facial steamer to unclog pores and help other skin care products absorb more efficiently.
8. Drape a buttery-soft faux fur blanket over your shoulders like it's a luxurious overcoat.
9. Lather yourself in cherry blossom body butter that's almost too pretty to mess up.
10. Leave room-temperature towels in the dust and swaddle yourself in heated ones straight from a machine whose only job in life is to pamper post-shower you.
11. Pop a pair of super cozy herbal booties into the microwave for a ~hot minute~ to soothe overworked and/or perpetually cold feet.
12. Start building a stylish vanity fit for a queen with a chic black or French-inspired white desk + stool set.
13. Store your beauty essentials in mirrored rose gold organizers for a vanity display that even a seasoned beauty blogger would envy.
14. Light a candle and get ready in style with a "good in gold" beauty box that includes a trio of posh makeup brushes and a handheld mirror.
15. Don't forget to light up your vanity with a glam Hollywood-inspired apparatus for guaranteed picture-perfect looks.
16. Ditch the Chapstick for ritzy AF lip gloss speckled with actual ✨ 23-karat gold flakes ✨ for the softest and most supple pout of your life.
17. Wear gold spiked headphones so you maintain some semblance of grace even when you're flailing your arms to the beat of the latest Rihanna jam.
18. Strut through the airport like you own the place with metallic carry-on suitcases.
19. And during the flight, mix yourself an Old Fashioned to pass the time with a snazzy carry-on cocktail kit.
20. Pad your office chair or car seat with a vibrating and heated massaging cushion that has individually-controlled sections so you can have all-over relief or target specific areas.
21. Slash open your mail like the classy dragon-fighting queen you are with a GoT-inspired sword letter opener.
23. Order Alexa around in lieu of an executive assistant (just for the time being, of course).
24. Moisturize and prep your skin with a superfruit-packed pink concoction — aka unicorn essence — that acts as a dual-purpose serum and makeup primer.
26. Spritz yourself with princess-inspired fragrance until you become a princess — it's simple logic.
28. Sweep your cheekbones with magical light-diffusing pearls that were exclusively reserved for actual angels — but they were gracious enough to lend them to you, an earthly queen.
29. And make your finger the focal point of your entire lewk with an ethereal diamond ring that resembles a full moon with tiny orbiting stars.
Put that crown where it belongs.
The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.