1. You drink entirely too much red wine because its "cheaper than water."
2. You've watched Jules et Jim and/or 400 Coups in its entirety on youtube.
Sans subtitles, of course.
3. You're over cupcakes, and have been ever since you tasted a macaron.
4. Your César-watching parties are attended primarily by you and your cat Pierre.
5. You still regularly reference the French Revolution when discussing politics.
6. Drinking coffee on the go is personally offensive.
7. You pronounce "Le Pain Quotidien" the RIGHT way and your friends are really fucking annoyed every time.
8. Verb conjugations get stuck in your head instead of Miley Cyrus songs
9. You give unsolicited advice to French tourists you overhear on the subway just so you can break out your best Fraccent
10. You knew Vincent Cassel way before he finger banged Natalie Portman on Black Swan.
11. Macaroni and Brie sounds like a good idea.
12. Netflix suggests "Mind Bending, Depressing, Existential Foreign Films" to you on a nightly basis.
13. Biking is best in high heels and dress.
14. You WILL NOT choose between Lea Seydoux and Melanie Laurent.
15. Les Miserables was a book first, then a musical, THEN a movie.
And don't even think of mentioning Russell Crowe.