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What I Think Is Happening In Taylor Swift's New Music Video For Bad Blood

Taylor's Swift new music video is awesome enough to be a movie. But what exactly is going on? Indulge me while I fantasize.

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For three months, our hero Catastrophe has been embedded there on an undercover mission.

Cat and her partner Arsyn (Selena Gomez) jump into action, beating the shit out of some RadioShack white shirts who are trying to stop them from stealing an ancient technological artifact hidden in a briefcase.


The briefcase contains the only CD signed by all FIVE members of One Direction.

Cat is taken back to Flurgflog's home base, conveniently located directly beneath the car, for rehabilitation. Flurgflog is the name of the secret organization she works for. Don't worry, it's cool.


She can't do it alone because she LOVES accessories! Luckily there are other characters at Flurgflog to lend her a hand. There are a LOT of characters. We're talking, like, a Game of Thrones level of characters.

Cut Throat also agrees to help Cat defeat SkyMall, but only because her grandma bought her a stuffed animal from their catalog once and that bear lasted like 5 days before it started falling apart.


When they meet, it looks like they might talk it out. After all, is this all worth it? All this violence and destruction for a One Direction album signed by Niall, Liam, Harry, Louis, AND ZAYN?

CLIFFHANGER!!! Will there be a sequel? A prequel? A squeakquel? WTF do you think is going on in the video? Leave it in the comments.

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