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13 Ways To Prove You're Way More Interesting Than The Stupid Super Bowl

Prove that the world doesn't revolve around football. It revolves around you.

Whether your team just broke your heart or you couldn't care less about sports, the Super Bowl is here on Sunday, and you're going to have to deal with it.

Why not take control of the situation and host your very own party? A party that can focus on something you love more than anything else in the world, including the Broncos or the Panthers? I'm talking about YOU! After all, January was the most depressing month of the year, and you deserve to be pampered with attention. Here's how you can take control, you attention-whortle.

1. Over your TV, place a larger portrait of yourself to watch over your guests.

2. Spell your name in all the food:

3. Make people fill out prop bets focused all around you.

4. Put your face everywhere. Literally everywhere.

5. Cut a hole in the bottom of a beer cooler so you can get right in there.

6. Explain how you would have run each play while the play is happening.

7. Pretend to choke at kickoff.

8. Put on a ball gown and sing the national anthem louder than Lady Gaga.

9. Don’t let anyone eat unless you’re feeding them yourself.

10. Announce that you’re pregnant during the first touchdown.

11. Show everyone how athletic you are by doing yoga poses in front of the TV.

12. Don’t let people forget about you during their bathroom breaks.

13. When your guests inevitably leave midway through the third quarter, make your dog sit on the couch and watch you dance. But know that if he could open doors, he too would GTFO.