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Tinder Tips For Fleet Week Sailors Who Will Most Assuredly Get Laid

Three simple steps for building the perfect Fleet Week profile.

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It's Fleet Week, y'all! Did you sailors put off prepping your week of NYC orgies? No problem. I got you covered. Check out these tender nips.

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Warner Bros. / Via tumblr.com

Step 1. If you don’t have a Facebook profile, make one. You need to have at least 50 friends to connect it to a Tinder account. Can’t find 50 friends? Try smiling, like this guy.

Videodet / Getty Images

Step 2. Pick some pictures for your profile and upload them to Facebook. Your first picture should show you as confident and clearly in the Navy. Try to at least include your eyes.

Tinder/ThinkStock

Your second photo should be you surrounded by your friends. It's also a good opportunity to make it super obvious that you are in the Navy.

ThinkStock / Kathy Willens / AP

Really drive home that you've been at sea. "This is my pet seagull. If I were home (and not overseas) it would be a pussy ;)"

Tinder / ThinkStock

Step 3. After getting a match, message her! It should go something like this.

Sarah Burton / Buzzfeed

Or this.

Sarah Burton / Buzzfeed

Or this.

Sarah Burton / Buzzfeed

Or this.

Sarah Burton / Buzzfeed

Follow these tips and you should be docking in no time. Happy Tindering!

Andrei Pungovschi / ASSOCIATED PRESS

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