Scrolling through Bernie Sanders petitions, I saw a lot of the same old, same old.
Yeah yeah yeah we get it.
Of course of course.
Duh yeah WAIT. WHAT IS THIS?
Wow. It just looks...so right.
Are we sure that it's not already called Bernie Sanderino?
It all adds up. Bernie Sanders wants to end wealth and income inequality, so obviously he would want to help the city of Bernie Sanderino.
But how can we make this happen? Once the petition reaches a million signatures, which it definitely will, what do we do?
Next step? WE CHANGE THE LAW. To make it easy on Calilegislators, I wrote up the bill. Just copy and paste <3
THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA DO ENACT AS FOLLOWS:
The Legislature finds and declares all of the following:
(a) San Bernardino's name sounds a lot like Bernie Sanders'
(b) Bernie Sanders is dope as hell
(c) San Bernardino would sound chill as fuck if it was named "Bernie Sanderino"
(d) Maybe if we did this Bernie Sanders would come visit and then we could all hang out and re-enact Weekend at Bernie's
(e) We would upload that Weekend at Bernie's video to YouTube and Facebook and get millions of hits
(f) Those hits would translate into tourism, which would give us money so we don't go bankrupt again
On and after January 1, 2016, all signs and names in the city of San Bernardino shall be changed to Bernie Sanderino
If the Commission on State Mandates determines that this act contains costs mandated by the state, reimbursement to local agencies and school districts for those costs shall be made pursuant to Part 7 (commencing with Section 17500) of Division 4 of Title 2 of the Government Code.