1. What is the opening sequence supposed to make me think of? The Ring? Taylor Swift's "Style"? Or is it supposed to make me pine for True Detective Season 1?
2. Detective Ray Velcoro has to know that's not his biological son, right? RIGHT?
3. Is this article based on real life?
4. Why was this apartment decoration the most creepy/interesting shot of the episode?
5. Is this foreshadowing?
6. Why is Ray such a shoe freak?
7. Does Ani see her family on a regular basis, or just when she busts them?
8. Is this really realistic given how our capitalistic society typically funds public transit?
9. Why was Officer Paul Woodrugh's blowjob so painful for him?
10. Was he taking Viagra, or was this the blue pull from The Matrix that represents living in ignorance of the truth? OR BOTH??
11. Did he expect to get Father of the Year for this?
12. Might the killer be a giant bird???
13. Who won this staring contest?
14. Does Paul also make this face when he's dropping a deuce?
15. Why should I care about this rich guy?
16. Where's the L.A. traffic?
17. Did we really need so much of this somehow-more-depressing version of Lana Del Rey?
18. Why is Detective Ani Bezzerides' dad straight out of the '60s?
19. What's up with the allusions to Greek mythology?
20. Is everyone an alcoholic?
And do they all prefer whiskey?