California's Division of Occupational Safety and Health Standards is considering new hygienic standards for the porn industry, which would include wearing eye protection for certain scenes.
Should porn stars have to wear goggles? Buzzfeed's Larry and Barry are here to settle the issue for once and for all.
Hi, I'm Larry. Should porn stars wear goggles? Fuck no.
When I'm looking at porn, I don't need to be reminded of that time I accidentally poured hydrochloric acid on my ding-dong. I want to stay in the present; I need to believe it's real. And in real life, no one wears protective eyewear.
What's next? Hazmat suits? The only hazmat suit I'm wearing is on my dick, and that's only because I'm allergic to latex. Besides, not a single porn star has contracted HIV “on a regulated adult set” since 2004.
That's good enough for me, and it should be good enough for California. Larry says no to goggles.
Thanks, Larry. Next up is Barry. Go ahead.
Hello. The name's Barry. Should porn stars wear goggles? Answer: yes. Abso-fuckin-lutely.
Honestly, porn has gotten way too boring. I've had enough of bedroom/car sex scenes. Goggles would force the industry to cover underrepresented kinks, like ski porn, dentist porn, and woodworking.
Have you ever seen underwater snorkel porn, or snorp? It's the stuff dreams are made of.
Talking about all this kink has sent my loins aflame. This bubble boy's gotta peace out. It's snorping time.
