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17 Overtly Sexual Toys That Someone Thought Was A Good Idea To Sell To Children

You might as well give your child a dildo.

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1. Rad Repeatin' Tarzan

youtube.com

Oh, so that's how his right arm go so strong.

2. E.T. Finger Light:

Oh no, some poor 4 year old got a dildo for Christmas.

3. Bear Hooks

http://texyt.com/3Ms+Sticky+Bear+is+VERY+Pleased+to+See+You
http://texyt.com/3Ms+Sticky+Bear+is+VERY+Pleased+to+See+You

You hang something too heavy on that hook, and yellow bear can say bye-bye to ever having kids.

4. Bubble Game Sword:

It's pink? "Fun up and fun down"? Oh no. No no no no no.
imgur.com

It's pink? "Fun up and fun down"? Oh no. No no no no no.

5. The Cock Block:

Maybe your kid won't get it. But you will. You definitely will.
michael_srp / Via instagram.com

Maybe your kid won't get it. But you will. You definitely will.

6. Sixfinger Gun:

Better a sixth finger than a third leg, am I right?
guav / Via instagram.com

Better a sixth finger than a third leg, am I right?

7. Punisher Shape Shifters Crotch Rocket:

The way his teeth are clenched, I can't imagine that's pleasurable.
inarigold / Via instagram.com

The way his teeth are clenched, I can't imagine that's pleasurable.

8. Dora The Explorer Aquapet:

You know, Dora, the TV show about a little girl who speaks Spanish and lives in a penis.
blogger.com

You know, Dora, the TV show about a little girl who speaks Spanish and lives in a penis.

9. Batman Water Gun:

Holy Smokes Batman!

10. Santa Sock Monkey:

Mrs. Claus?

11. The Oozinator:

Hasbro

Water's not selling anymore. What about something with more substance? Something, whiter, stickier?

12. Spiderman Web Battler:

Spiderman but with a real hard web.
skwsleeperkid / Via instagram.com

Spiderman but with a real hard web.

13. Mr. Bucket Game:

youtube.com

Mr. Bucket spits your balls out of his mouth. It's O.K., not everyone's a swallower.

14. The Muppets Beaker Hotwheels:

So the curtains match the drapes.
ericfell / Via instagram.com

So the curtains match the drapes.

15. Fun Noses:

"Nose" a.k.a. "strap-on"
Twitter: @reuben_robert

"Nose" a.k.a. "strap-on"

16. Love 'N Licks Pets

A great gift for your young zoophile.

17. Lion King Rafiki Molesty Toy

youtube.com

Because Simba doesn't have enough reasons to be messed up.

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