17 Overtly Sexual Toys That Someone Thought Was A Good Idea To Sell To Children

You might as well give your child a dildo.

1. Rad Repeatin' Tarzan

youtube.com

Oh, so that's how his right arm go so strong.

2. E.T. Finger Light:

imgur.com

Oh no, some poor 4 year old got a dildo for Christmas.

3. Bear Hooks

http://texyt.com/3Ms+Sticky+Bear+is+VERY+Pleased+to+See+You

http://texyt.com/3Ms+Sticky+Bear+is+VERY+Pleased+to+See+You

You hang something too heavy on that hook, and yellow bear can say bye-bye to ever having kids.

4. Bubble Game Sword:

imgur.com

It's pink? "Fun up and fun down"? Oh no. No no no no no.

5. The Cock Block:

michael_srp / Via instagram.com

Maybe your kid won't get it. But you will. You definitely will.

6. Sixfinger Gun:

guav / Via instagram.com

Better a sixth finger than a third leg, am I right?

7. Punisher Shape Shifters Crotch Rocket:

inarigold / Via instagram.com

The way his teeth are clenched, I can't imagine that's pleasurable.

8. Dora The Explorer Aquapet:

blogger.com

You know, Dora, the TV show about a little girl who speaks Spanish and lives in a penis.

9. Batman Water Gun:

Twitter: @dizzyizback

cloud.lovintrends.com

Holy Smokes Batman!

10. Santa Sock Monkey:

Twitter: @ThomasurusRex

Mrs. Claus?

11. The Oozinator:

Hasbro

Hasbro

Water's not selling anymore. What about something with more substance? Something, whiter, stickier?

12. Spiderman Web Battler:

skwsleeperkid / Via instagram.com

Spiderman but with a real hard web.

13. Mr. Bucket Game:

youtube.com

Mr. Bucket spits your balls out of his mouth. It's O.K., not everyone's a swallower.

14. The Muppets Beaker Hotwheels:

ericfell / Via instagram.com

So the curtains match the drapes.

15. Fun Noses:

Twitter: @reuben_robert

"Nose" a.k.a. "strap-on"

16. Love 'N Licks Pets

youtube.com

youtube.com

A great gift for your young zoophile.

17. Lion King Rafiki Molesty Toy

youtube.com

Because Simba doesn't have enough reasons to be messed up.