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    We Need To Talk About Starbucks's Siren Logo

    You think those red cups are bad? You're gonna want to sit down.

    We need to talk about the Starbucks logo.

    Have you ever wondered why the Starbucks lady seems to be holding two fishes? Well, I've got news for you: Those aren't fishes. If you're one of those people who was upset about Starbucks sanitizing Christmas (or you're Donald Trump), you might want to clutch your rosary.

    So this was the Starbucks logo prior to 1992. Before Starbucks cropped the siren's bottom half out, you could see she was holding her two fin-legs so they spread apart.

    And before 1987, this was the logo. This is the true Starbucks siren. Boobs/nips out, spreading her two fins. WHY? To show off her mervag, that's why.

    Krakovskiy thinks the Starbucks mermaid likely came from J.E. Cirlot's A Dictionary of Symbols. There are a few notable differences: The Starbucks siren is thinner, happier, and vagina-less.

    Today, when we think of mermaids, we think of Ariel, who lures Prince Eric with her beautiful voice. Compare that to the sirens of mythology, who seduced mariners with music and promises of sex. OHHH! That sexy hair flip is starting to make sense, right?

    Too bad it doesn't stop there. Later scholars surmised that these sirens were not only sexual lures, but cannibals, as evidenced in Homer's The Odyssey.

    In conclusion, the minimalist, satanic red cups are a mere red herring. Why? Because the logo of a billion-dollar multinational corporation is a mermaid spreading her fins apart to lure men in and eat them.

    Anyway, enjoy your latte!