Reddit user u/theunknowndud asked, "Women, what do you find the most confusing about men?" and I feel personally attacked because I've also been confused by 85% of these things.
Here are the top-voted answers:
1. "Why does it take so long for men to poop?"
2. "I’ve learned a lot being married to my husband, but there’s one thing I fail to understand in general. Why do you guys like to stare out the window so often? It’s usually just going up to a window or looking out the front door, and you fall into a trance. What’s up with that?"
"It’s quite enjoyable to reflect and ponder hypotheticals and to resolve issues. It’s what happens after that long stare that seems fortuitously a surprise."
"I went to a park today, and my wife kept asking if I was OK as I was staring at the sky. I was really just thinking about what crops I would grow to survive a zombie apocalypse and if I would have to invite anyone else to live with us and what skill sets I would need to maintain order and a good standard of living. I would mostly grow potatoes I think."
3. "What happens to your dicks when you run? Do you feel them flop around? And what do you do with it when you ride a bike?"
4. "Men can be completely oblivious to any mess in the house, but can spot a wall has been brush painted in the wrong direction from 20 feet away."
5. "My wife's biggest gripe is that I will spend time hiking, drinking, driving, or whatever with friends I haven't seen in months, and when I get home, I will have absolutely nothing to report back despite having talked solidly with them for six hours. My wife, on the other hand, will casually pass a friend in the street, and within 10 minutes, knows what they've done every day since they last spoke, the health and financial status of them and all other friends and relatives, and a forward-facing calendar for the next three months."
6. "I'm so confused about how the dick and the balls are stored in the underwear."
"To be honest, as a dude I’ve never really thought about this. They kinda just, fit. Don’t really notice them sitting down and standing up unless your dick does one of those random, I’m gonna get hard now things."
7. "I’m a dude, but I'm always wondering why do we all pretty much collectively enjoy digging random holes? Especially at the beach."
8. "Why do men always have the prettiest and longest lashes?"
"Testosterone."
"As a dude with long lashes, if I was to curl them, I'd be unstoppable."
9. "When men say, 'We ain't going to the doctor,' but the limb has fallen off."
10. "You know that meme, where a woman is thinking, 'Huh, he's probably thinking about other women,' and in actuality, the guy is thinking the most random of things of nothing at all. Yeah. That."
"Do women not think about random things? Do you never get bored and just start thinking about how flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?"
"I can't speak for other women, but yeah. Yesterday, I just randomly had the thought in the shower, 'What is the air inside a bell pepper made of? Is it just regular air, or is it, like, all carbon dioxide or oxygen or what?' ... I googled it, it's regular air."
11. "I don't know why some men are willing to pay a lot of money just for pictures of feet or boobs...but porn is free."
12. "I'm a man. But something that confused my wife is when I suddenly take a deep breath for no reason. She's like, 'Are you OK? You sure? Anything you need to talk about? What's going on?' And I just say, 'Nah, I'm fine, think I just forgot to breathe and catching up.'"
13. "I find it confusing how men are so forgiving. It’s one of the things I adore the most about men and find the most baffling. I’m learning now that men will get over things, like, 40 minutes after they happen and genuinely get frustrated and sad when their girls hold grudges. I’ve found that the people I’ve had falling outs with and was able to rekindle my friendships with were mostly all men."
14. "Dicks, the way they work is confusing. Like, I’ve been told they only react when seeing or feeling something they like, but I’ve also been told it will just decide to pop up randomly throughout the day from nothing."
"As a man, dicks really do control your life."
And finally...
15. "When they behave as the smartest man in the world, and five minutes later, they are the village dummy."
Now, it's your turn! What's something men do that confuses you? Comment below!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.