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This Short-Girl Checklist Will Reveal Your Exact Height

*has a conversation with your nipples*

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  1. Check off all the things you’ve done:<br />
    Check
    Hoisted yourself up on the laundry machine to empty it
    Check
    Struggled to put on a fitted sheet due to your limited wingspan
    Check
    Could only see your eyebrows in a bathroom mirror
    Check
    Tried on a pair of jeans, only to realize that they double as socks
    Check
    Strained every muscle in your body while trying to reach something on a shelf
    Check
    Been suffocated during group hugs
    Check
    Had your head used as an armrest by a taller person
    Check
    Been karate-chopped in the neck by your seatbelt
    Check
    Been asked “Hey, how’s the weather down there?”
    Check
    Located front and center in your class photos
    Check
    Been aggressively ID’d at every bar you go to
    Check
    Watched the back of someone’s head or shoulder for an entire concert
    Check
    Been assigned a nickname like “Shorty” or “Peanut” ever since puberty
    Check
    Craned your neck just to talk to a friend
    Check
    And had a full-on conversation with someone's nipples
    Check
    Been asked to stand back-to-back with basically strangers to compare heights
    Check
    Gotten a full-body workout just from grocery shopping
    Check
    Been blinded by the sun because your car visor doesn’t work
    Check
    Used having “little legs” as an excuse to walk slower
    Check
    Won a game or two of limbo
    Check
    Used a taller person to block wind, snow, or rain
    Check
    Never worried about feeling “too tall” while wearing heels
    Check
    Felt super cozy in a hoodie because it basically consumed you
    Check
    Enjoyed lots of leg room, even on flights
    Check
    And finally, been mistaken for a literal child
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