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15 Words That Mean Something Completely Different At Tim Hortons

There's a "hot mess" and then there's a Tim Horton's "hot mess."

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3. Heaven

Via Twitter: @BagelWar

Actual definition: The place where God lives and where good people go after they die, according to some religions.

What it means at Tim Hortons: That giant clump of cream cheese in the middle of the bagel.

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4. Sleeve

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: haydn

Actual definition: The part of a shirt, jacket, etc., that covers all or part of your arm.

What it means at Tim Hortons: That useless piece of paper that doesn't protect your small, fragile hands at all and forces you to ask them to double cup your drink.

5. Roll Up The Rim

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jon_lin

Actual definition: A contest where people can win a variety of prizes from rolling up the rim of their coffee cup.

What it means at Tim Hortons: LIFE OR DEATH.

6. Muffin

Via instagram.com

Actual definition: A small bread or cake that is usually eaten at breakfast.

What it means at Tim Hortons: A glorious creation covered in ENORMOUS chunks of sugar that will keep you full for 24 hours.

7. Outlet

Twitter: @MontrealManny

Actual definition: A receptacle for the plug of an electrical device.

What it means at Tim Hortons: THANK GOD. My phone died but I don't have enough money to go to a Starbucks and buy a tall something-or-rather so I'll buy a small steeped tea here and not leave for five hours.

8. Smiley Face

Via instagram.com

Actual definition: A symbol used in typing, writing, or drawing that represents a person smiling.

What it means at Tim Hortons: A symbol that represents what it looks like to give up.

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9. Drive-Thru

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: betsyweber

Actual definition: A place or facility where one can be served without leaving one's car.

What it means at Tim Hortons: I'm way too cold to get out of my car right now. Plus, I don't want people to know that I ordered a 50-pack of timbits just for myself.

10. Breakfast sandwich

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: calgaryreviews

Actual definition: Two pieces of bread with typically an egg, meat product and slice of cheese between them.

What it means at Tim Hortons: I got pretty fucking drunk last night and I don't want to puke at my desk so I should probably put something in my stomach that isn't served out of a shot glass.

11. Hunger

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: bebot

Actual definition: An uncomfortable feeling in your stomach that is caused by the need for food.

What it means at Tim Hortons: A slow and painful death that can only be avoided by shoving 30 timbits in your mouth.

12. Line

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: peretzpup

Actual definition: Something arranged along a line, especially a straight line; a row or series.

What is means at Tim Hortons: A group of irritating strangers standing in between you and your bae.

13. Death wish

Via Twitter: @Copperhawk86

Actual definition: A desire for someone's death, especially an unconscious desire for one's own death.

What it means at Tim Hortons: Continuing to drink your scalding hot double double after you ripped off the tab thingy wrong.

14. Wildlife

Saskatchewan RCMP

Actual definition: Living things and especially mammals, birds, and fishes that are neither human nor domesticated.

What it means at Tim Hortons: Regular customers.

15. Diet

@superjhooper @joshwebb08 I scored multiple times at @TimHortons on this trip

Actual definition: A regimen of eating and drinking to achieve a certain goal.

What it means at Tim Hortons: Absolutely nothing.

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