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15 Words That Mean Something Completely Different At Tim Hortons

There's a "hot mess" and then there's a Tim Horton's "hot mess."

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3. Heaven

Via Twitter: @BagelWar

Actual definition: The place where God lives and where good people go after they die, according to some religions.

What it means at Tim Hortons: That giant clump of cream cheese in the middle of the bagel.


4. Sleeve

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: haydn

Actual definition: The part of a shirt, jacket, etc., that covers all or part of your arm.

What it means at Tim Hortons: That useless piece of paper that doesn't protect your small, fragile hands at all and forces you to ask them to double cup your drink.

6. Muffin


Actual definition: A small bread or cake that is usually eaten at breakfast.

What it means at Tim Hortons: A glorious creation covered in ENORMOUS chunks of sugar that will keep you full for 24 hours.

7. Outlet

Twitter: @MontrealManny

Actual definition: A receptacle for the plug of an electrical device.

What it means at Tim Hortons: THANK GOD. My phone died but I don't have enough money to go to a Starbucks and buy a tall something-or-rather so I'll buy a small steeped tea here and not leave for five hours.


9. Drive-Thru

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: betsyweber

Actual definition: A place or facility where one can be served without leaving one's car.

What it means at Tim Hortons: I'm way too cold to get out of my car right now. Plus, I don't want people to know that I ordered a 50-pack of timbits just for myself.

10. Breakfast sandwich

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: calgaryreviews

Actual definition: Two pieces of bread with typically an egg, meat product and slice of cheese between them.

What it means at Tim Hortons: I got pretty fucking drunk last night and I don't want to puke at my desk so I should probably put something in my stomach that isn't served out of a shot glass.

11. Hunger

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: bebot

Actual definition: An uncomfortable feeling in your stomach that is caused by the need for food.

What it means at Tim Hortons: A slow and painful death that can only be avoided by shoving 30 timbits in your mouth.


12. Line

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: peretzpup

Actual definition: Something arranged along a line, especially a straight line; a row or series.

What is means at Tim Hortons: A group of irritating strangers standing in between you and your bae.

13. Death wish

Via Twitter: @Copperhawk86

Actual definition: A desire for someone's death, especially an unconscious desire for one's own death.

What it means at Tim Hortons: Continuing to drink your scalding hot double double after you ripped off the tab thingy wrong.

15. Diet

@superjhooper @joshwebb08 I scored multiple times at @TimHortons on this trip

Actual definition: A regimen of eating and drinking to achieve a certain goal.

What it means at Tim Hortons: Absolutely nothing.