back to top

21 Times Seth Rogen Spat The Hilarious Truth On Twitter

"Kinda bummed I wasn't invited to Taylor Swift's birthday party."

Posted on

1. On getting older:

When I was younger and partied till 5am I would get a hangover. Now, when I party till 5am, I get a cold for a week and a half.

2. On what's really important in life:

3. On nature:

It's weird how moths aren't out during the day time. You'd think the day time would be their favorite shit ever.

4. On self-love:

Accepting that I wear size 38 jeans is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

5. On showing a softer side:

Who, me? Just crying from a Subaru commercial.

6. On television:

I think I've been watching HGTV for the last 179 hours straight.

7. On free ideas:

"Tush Hashana" would be a great name for a porn.

8. On words that we should never use again:

Pretty sure I'd be totally cool never seeing the word "bae" again.

9. And words that we should actually start using:

New sexual phrase: "Packing The Bowl." When you shove the tip of your penis inside your own butthole.

10. On finding joy in the little things:

11. On bittersweet memories:

The first time I heard the song "Hot In Herre" I was on shrooms in a youth hostel in Amsterdam and I remember thinking humanity was doomed.

12. On questions that we have all secretly asked ourselves:

Should l dye my hair that weird purple/grey color that seems so popular?

13. On airport delays:

Instead of "thanks for your patience", airlines should just say "We do what the fuck we want, and unless you grow wings, you're fucked".

14. On existence:

About ten times a day I think "what the fuck is that sound?" and then I realize it's just me breathing loud and weird.

15. On feeling left out:

Kinda bummed I wasn't invited to Taylor Swift's birthday party.

16. On the inner workings of the human mind:

It's weird how often the made up blues song from "Adventures in Babysitting" is stuck in my head.

17. On living your best life:

I gonna smoke weed in the White House ya'll.

18. On nightmares:

I just remembered I had a dream last night where I got told I have diabetes.

19. On expressing your feelings:

20. On stating the obvious:

Cool Runnings holds up like a motherfucker.

21. And finally, on responding to the haters...

honestly why is seth rogen so gross he just looks like an old banana

Like a complete champion: