As you might know, the Canada goose is one of the world's most feared predators. They are a ruthless species that will not hesitate to attack.
So here are some surefire methods to keep yourself safe from the nation's biggest threat:
1. Avoid paddling into their territory on the lake.
2. Or walking in an area where they are nesting.
Watch yo' self!
3. Don't act hostile or show fear.
4. Maintain direct eye contact and keep your chest and face pointed at the goose.
Or else this will happen.
5. Use your hands, arms, and jacket to protect your face.
6. Do not feed them.
7. Use online tools such as Goose Watch to plan safe walking routes.
8. Do not yell. More geese might hear your cries and join the attack.
9. Eliminate your chances of being attacked by staying inside for the rest of your life.
10. Go out and buy a fancy ultrasonic noise machine to get them off your property.
11. Or a remote-controlled device that will scare them away.
12. Never turn your back on a goose.
13. You could always just disguise yourself as a goose.
14. And if all else fails, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
