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The Single Lady's Calendar

Finally, a calendar that divides up Forever Alone into neat, depressing months.

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Fictional Boyfriend February


A real boyfriend would only get in the way of the twenty-two celebrity husbands and fifteen literary boyfriends I already have. The only Valentine's date I need is my Peeta/Josh Hutcherson cardboard cut-out.

Movie Marathon March


Watching hours of Matthew Macfadyen in Pride & Prejudice can only make me feel better about being single, right? I mean, it's not like there's any guys in real life that live up to Mr. Darcy.

All By Myself April


"Hey, Mom. Yep, just having a little party at my house. Oh yeah, there are totally guys here. I do think one's pretty adorable, he's got black hair but can be a bit of a downer sometimes."

Just Friends June


Because there's only so many times you can hear yourself described as "just a really great friend" by your crush before you begin to wonder if the universe is playing some kind of joke on you.

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